My College Picks

I went to get on the bloggah last night because I wanted to take my time, ease into these picks like driving an old Ford, touch them, smell them, love them. And what happens? Darn Bloggah is busted up so I couldn't take the necessary time to analyze and scrutinize my each game. Granted, I usually make the picks in under 5 seconds after looking at the lines...but it's a LONG 5 seconds.

Stanicek and I usually divvy up the games so we don't overlap and we consistently give you an astonishing 18 games (36 teams) of analysis and expert opinion. The fact that we're not getting paid for doing these picks week in and week out is a crime. But we love to do it. We love our readers. But more importantly, we love ourselves. On that note...

This week I'm just picking 9 games (Stanicek may have covered some of these) since I'm under the gun to get these done. Oooo, that ryhmed. My picks in bold:

Notre Dame (-13) at Navy
See that handsome mug to the left? I'll give you one guess who's college picture that is. If you guessed Charlie Weis, YOU'RE CORRECT. And you win this wisdom. Take Notre Dame. They're ready for a break out game after a couple of squeekers and Brady had that look in his eye like he was ready to kill a wildabeast with his bare hands after he threw the TD to Smar...F it...I'm not even going to try and spell that Polack's name. p.s. How did Weis go from looking like that, to this?



Wisconsin (-22) vs. Illinois
What did I tell you about Juice? This kid's the truth and if there's one coach who knows how to get his team ready for a road game in Wisconsin, it's Zook??? Really, is that true? I don't know. Just take the dam* points.

Florida (-13.5) vs. UGA
No comment. I'm going to pass on this game. Me picking UGA over and over has worked as well as my upcoming decision to switch to liquor in T-Minus 12 hours.

Vanderbilt (-9) at Duke
Best team in the nation against one of the worst? How is this only a 9 point spread. Bad decision by Vegas. Almost as bad as Nate Robertson's glasses. Can somebody tell this guy that it's not 1952 anymore? I bet he goes and gets some licorice whips and a malt for $.10 after handing the World Series to the worst team to be crowned...maybe ever. F-ing Tigers. Making the AL look bad.

Tennessee (-3.5) at South Carolina
Great description of these types of lines by Josh. This is a really tough game to pick and I've been staring at this line for over 20 seconds. I've seen UT on the road in person and I've seen South Carolina play at home in person. I'm going with the team that impressed me.

GA Tech (-5) vs. Miami
Nerds vs. Thugs. Do you think Miami has this picture hanging up in their locker room? I bet the players slap it kind of like "Play Like a Champion Today". Hell, I hope every team does that whenever they play GA Tech. Who are we kidding...they probably just get into a circle, bounce up and down, and swing their helmets at eachother to break noses, crack skulls, and "get fired up". What a program.

Auburn (-18.5) at Ole Miss
Auburn has been less than impressive against weak opponents. They're stealing games when they could dominate. Just like Otto stole that crap from the Korean supermarket in "Top Chef" on Bravo. Please tell me other people watch this show. It's the best thing going in the reality TV genre. Didn't you love when he "bowed out" of the competition? And what's with that bit*h throwing him under the bus right in front of Chef Tom? Couldn't she have said something to poor Otto before it was in front of the head honcho? Seriously, anyone watch this show?

LOCK OF THE WEEK

Texas (-10) at Texas Tech
Seriously, like you didn't know that was coming. They came through for me last week and there's no reason to believe it won't hit this week. Well maybe the fact that Texas has DOMINATED this matchup in previous years is reason for concern...but I say pish and posh. Texas Tech at home is like Rock going up against Scissors. Screw the 10 points...take the money line.

9 hours until I am airborne and on my way to Jacksonville. I'm a Rocket Man. And yes, I'm definately running scenarios through my head right now about how we're going to pull this game out. Sssshhhhhhhh...shhh. UGA is not only going to cover...we're going to win.