Thursday, December 28, 2006
Matt: DO IT ROCKAPELLA!!!
Tim: Welcome all to Chat-Cast 2...I'm sure you were all waiting and excited for the sequel
Matt: indeed. the only way we can top the last chat-cast is if we get NEGATIVE 1 comment on the blog
so, suffice to say, we're playing with the houses money
Tim: HA! Do you think the masses are more excited about the next edition of the chat cast or the release of the new Cedric the Entertainer/Lucy Liu vehicle, "Codename: The Cleaner"?
Matt: neither. they're most excited about the new sphere UGA tailgating chair I got for Christmas.
Tim: Holy jeez...now you have the cumbersome, intrusive, heavy, sphere chair...you sphere chair people think you are SOOOO great. Well, I'll be just fine thank you in the electric green and/or pink chair
Matt: those are both mine too ponch
Tim: We best get to picking considering the Alabama/Ok St game starts in 20
Matt: This game...Codename: Snoozer. I got Bama pulling off the mild salsa upset
Tim: I am going to say you are a moron - Go Cowboys
Matt: actually, it won't be that boring...I'm trying to get off work tout sweet to catch some of this action
Tim: And before we get too far into this...can I remind everyone of our current stats after the last chat cast:
me - 7-1 you - 2-6
Matt: being that nobody read that chat cast, I'll go ahead and say that you're lying. Hell, I don't remember typing it. I was high on red wine and grouper.
Tim: I have a word document detailing each and every pick...I've sent it to the National Archives for official documentation
Matt: OOOHHHH, the Bowl Pool. Yes, I decided to forgo trying to win these early games and focus on the big ones. I officially start caring today.
speaking of caring, how about Rutgers. They running out of wood to chop or what TKALLDAY?
Tim: No not the bowl pool you dink-uzh, I wrote down all of our picks when we made them during the chat cast...jeez...anyway - I am going with K-State, they are 7 point dogs.
Matt: K-State is a solid pick too. They spoil everyone's bowl game. Just like a polo or a pair of slacks spoils a decent Christmas day, eh Scrooge?
Tim: Don't get me started...there were some clothing related items under the tree for me this year...needless to say I tried to fake as many smiles as I could and then threw them in the ole trashcanola.
NEXT - Holiday Bowl, Cal is a 5 point favorite over TAMU - I am going with Cal even though the Pac10 blows
Matt: tis the season. So we both gots K. State...I guess I have to change it up Tom Glavine-style and hit up the Aggies. Mmm...Aggies.
a footnote about the Bama game why I want to run home and see it. We play both those teams EARLY in the season next year. How's that? Interesting? Yeah, not so much.
Tim: I just want to see if they have a little girl, robot, or fuzzy little bunny as their head coach.
Matt: maybe they'll read this chat-cast and hire us on the spot. I call O-Line!!!
Live feed from Chat Casting Central located at an undisclosed military installation four miles beneath the Earth's crust. Matt is third row third from the left.
Tim: NEXT - Music City Bowl - Clemson is a 10 point favorite over Kentucky...you know who I got...ooooooo....C...A...T..S CATS CATS CATS
Matt: I can't, in good faith, root for the ACC over the SEC. Nor can I root against a loveable team that actually beat us. AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW C...A....T...S CATS CATS CATS
Tim: I am watching ESPN waiting for the Bama game to start and they are advertising the Two A Days Season One on DVD...why would you buy that? Do I really want to see that over and over and over again?
Matt: in a word. Yes.
But season II is coming out on MTV and....SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT...Hoover don't win no dagum Alabamer State Title this time round dagummit.
Matt: and Coach Probst's head explodes
Tim: NEXT - Sun Bowl - Oregon State is a 3 1/2 favorite over Mizzou...I my friend am staring at a Mizzou sandwich with some Tiger mayonnaise spread over the bun.
Matt: over the bun? Gyyyosh. Gimmee Mizzou. Their old basketball coach was a young kid with pretty greasy hair. I liked him. I like Mizzou football tomorrow at 2pm
Tim: Oh yeah...Quinn Snyder...I am going to name my son Quinn or maybe Quint
Matt: we gotta squeeze 6 more games in so ARRIBA ARRIBA TKWHATYOUSAY
why not go Squint Kelly Jr.
Tim: I was thinking maybe Squinty McQuinnabun Kelly...but it's up in the air...NEXT - Liberty Bowl - South Cack a 6 1/2 favorite over Houston - I am taking South Cack, no way they blow a crappy bowl like this two years in a row, after all they've only been to about 5
Matt: South Carckalacka is my call on this one too. As long as they can contain Akeem and The Glide, they should be hoisting the Liberty Cup come about 8pm tomorrow night. That'll be a sight to see
Tim: NEXT - THE BIG ONE...Champs Sports - UMD a 2 point fav over Purdue...it's all about the turtles kid
Matt: Maryland my foot. Gimmee Purdue. I'm sure we'll play them in the next 2 years so this is good karma rooting for them now
Tim: Wow, that's pessimistic...no more Big Ten bowl opponents for us unless its in a BCS...NEXT - Insight - Texas Tech a 6 1/2 favorite over Minnesota. I can't believe you aren't booking a charter jet to go out to this game...needless to say we know you are picking the gimmicky offense over solid fundamental Minnesota....and so am I
Matt: oh baby. Get ready to see more points than a pointer finger convention. Crap, that didn't work. Just give me my damn lock. TTech is going to rock you. Shi*...0-2 on this one for a funny comment
Tim: Whew. Why don't you take a breather there Matty...maybe go buy a knock-knock joke book to rejuvenate the funny juice. NEXT - Car Care Bowl - BC a 6 1/2 favorite over Navy - me? I like Navy because I like America....except for Boston...I hate Boston
Matt: Well then give my Boston. Speaking of knock knocks. Knock Knock
Tim: Who dere?
Matt: I'm thinking. Um...sausage
Tim: Sausage who?
Matt: Sausage until the door won't open anymore
Tim: BINGO! Now that's comedy...or something like that. NEXT - Alamo - Texas is an 11 point favorite over Iowa. I hate Iowa...and Boston. So give me Texas
Matt: ahhhhhh screw Texas. Gimme the Hawkeyes. JESS Settles needs to come back for this one and dominate. So does AC Earl
Tim: NEXT - PEACH BABY! UGA! UGA! UGA! I pick UGA.
Matt: Hmmm...this is tough. What's the spread?
Matt: UGA UGA CMR UGA UGA UGA UGA UGA Matthew Stafford UGA UGA Asher Allen UGA UGA UGA MoMass UGA UGA UGA UGA UGA Tony Taylor UGA UGA UGA. That's about as bipartisan is I get.
Tim: On an unrelated note - I went to Barnes and Noble today and used the H out of a gift card. B and N didn't know what hit'tem. NEXT - MPC Computers...Miami a 3 point favorite over Nevada. I like Miami, they may not beat you but you definitely won't leave that field without a shiv in the thigh and a promise of bodily harm made against your family
Matt: Miami. Can you believe we just lost a recruit to them? What mother looks at "The U" and says "hmm...long history of thugs, horrible academics, no coach, guys get shot, and there's constant brawl. Plus, they're not very good. Mmm...this is perfect for my baby. Where do we sign?"
Tim: Bingo. Who'daya pick?
Matt: Gimme the Nevada...um...Casino Whores is it?
Tim: I think it's the Nevada "Loose Slots Like Our Hookers".
Matt: ALRIGHTY. Thus ends, what will soon be, a chat-cast that "looked great on paper but failed to relate to its audience". Well, that's how we like it. If you're coming to the Peach, be sure to stop by Tent City. Call Tim. I don't get service, my phone will be dead, too busy, bad knee, wind tunnel.
Friday, December 22, 2006
1. Every Thursday I will go online to publix.com and check out their weekly ad. I guess it's the 70 year old woman in me, but the truth is that I simply love Publix and it gives me ideas of what to eat that week for dinner...which is the house-wife in me.
2. I'm probably one of the fastest people you'll ever meet at getting out of a car. Put in park, parking break, seatbelt, turn off ignition, take out key, open door, close, BAM. Lock. Meanwhile, if I'm paying for something in cash, I take FOREVER to get my change and put my money into my wallet.
3. My feet look like they have aliens coming out of them. You just have to see to understand.
4. If we're ever about to leave for something I'm excited to get to, you'll probably see me start to pace. At that moment, know that "HURRY UP YOU FUC*ING SLOW MUTHA FUC*ER" is probably going through my head. What I'm trying to say is that I'm impatient.
5. At least twice a week some sort of my dream evolves around the fact that I haven't graduated college, I'm in college during my senior year and am about to not graduate, or some similar version. I graduated college 4 years ago and somehow this is my #1 fear. How's that possible?
6. When I think about the happiest place on earth for me the first thought that comes to mind is a Georgia tailgate with everyone there before a big game or after a big win. Aww.
Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you get to wherever you're going to safely and without too much hassle...basically, the exact opposite of my girlfriend (trying to get into Denver) and my sister (trying to get out of Denver). Ho ho ho!!!
Monday, December 18, 2006
My stance - H*LL FRICKING NO! I can't tell you how much I hate getting clothes, any item, any kind, any how, as a present. Is it some sort of lingering attachment to my childhood? Have I really ever broken free from childhood? Was I attacked by a male model wielding a stunning boot from the fall line on a city street as a child? Or is it just that the acquisition of clothes should be kept where it belongs...in the "chore" column of life? I goodsirs and gentlewomen maintain the latter. Christmas is a time for fun, merriment, and cheer not for having to feign enjoyment as you open yet another box to reveal...a shirt...whoop-de-doo. I want to see books, DVDs, CDs, games, tickets to sporting events or concerts, absurdly impractical items that have a Georgia logo somewhere on them....not...socks.
If I got these for Christmas...a little part of me would die.
I hate shopping for new clothes. It's like going to the dentist or having to watch "The Prestige"....something that just has to be gotten over with and never thought about again. So why bring such a mundane and boring task into a joyous time like Christmas? Not only do clothes just ooze boredom as a gift, it is very rare that 1) someone actually gets you something you like and 2) something that fits. So there you are with some boring shirt/pants that you have to return, but you most likely never do because you forgot you even got it midway through discovering it was clothes, so it just sits on your hanger with all the tags on it until you move and then you're like "Good God...that is ugly, I guess I'll just give it to Goodwill". Pasqua said "well what if someone gets you something you asked for specifically and got the exact right size?" or something along those lines...to that I say, well at least its practical and wearable but its still boring because you knew you were going to get it. You might as well just get cash.
The only exception to the clothes rule is that if the clothing is fun (i.e. Orioles/UGA paraphernalia) it is acceptable. Thoughts? Concerns?
Friday, December 15, 2006
3 years from now, I fear Joe will be saying
"it was an honor to wear the green practice jersey."
Speaking of former UGA quarterbacks, HAHAHAHAHAHA.
"While past discussions between Ripken and Angelos failed to advance, Ripken, according to one source, is now "guardedly optimistic" that a deal eventually could occur"
YES! "Guardedly optimistic"! That's pretty much the same as a done deal, right?!
"The owner is speaking with other potential buyers, a source with knowledge of his discussions said, and in the end might prefer to leave the team to his sons, John and Lou."
NO! Good God NO! The only thing that was keeping me going through these nine straight losing seasons and fourth place finishes was knowing that Angelos was old and one day...well one day we would have a new owner. His sons are even more idiotic than he is...
Which one would YOU rather have run your team? The King of Baseball or Gollum?
"If Ripken were part of an Orioles' ownership group, he likely would want the role of club president — and a return to the franchise's past foundation of scouting and player development."
Scouting?! Player Development?! Hmmm....your plan intrigues me...but I do like Angelos' steadfast adherence to forsaking the minor leagues and focusing entirely on luring washed up veterans well past their prime who might sell tickets the first two weeks of the season and then lead us to at most 64-73 wins, see: Bobby Bonilla, Will Clark, Chris Sabo, Albert Belle, Pat Hentgen, Sammy Sosa, Delino DeShields, Fernando Valenzuela, Jeff Conine (twice), Sid Fernandez, Jimmy Key, Pete Incaviligia, David Segui, Doug Jones.....
"Orioles owner Peter Angelos just might be the most unpopular man in Baltimore. "
Might be?! Unless Osama Bin Laden is hanging out at the Sheraton-Inner Harbor than yeah...you can go ahead and replace "just might be" with "is".
Oh it would be a day of much rejoicing when/if this announcement is made. I picture myself lying on the grass in Cooperstown, NY on July 29, 2007 watching Cal take his rightful spot among the greats in the Hall of Fame and mid-way through his triumphant induction speech he announces the sale is official and DING DONG the witch is dead! Cal is taking over and the Orioles fans, I amongst them, rip into a cheer that can be heard from space. What a day it will be....
Thursday, December 14, 2006
My loyalty was questioned when I made it apparent that it would probably be pretty tough to pull me out of Atlanta to travel to a bowl game like the Outback, Cap One, Music City, etc. While I'd love to attend these games, they're just not as appealing as a road trip to a regular season SEC game for multiple reasons:
1. Money. Bowl season comes right after the holiday and the cookie jar is always a bit empty as some might say. Hit me up when I'm 55 and retired with nothing to do but go to mediocre bowl games and we'll talk...hopefully I'll be talking with a cool accent that I developed while spending a few years in New Zealand, a scar, and standing next to my large estate. Now...not so much. Plus, any bowl trip undoubtedly leads to more expensive ticket prices, hotels, farther destinations which mean more gas, etc. I'm not broke by any stretch...but I'm also not trying to be broke.
2. Work. Now that most of us have entered a normal work schedule, a New Year's Day Bowl Game will almost always force me to miss one...if not two days of work. Back in college this translated to skipping class which I would probably do anyways so it wasn't that big of a deal.
3. The atmosphere. Here's where Stanicek and I bitterly disagree. While I love road trips with friends, I just don't see enough reward of going to see UGA in stadium where the Bucs play and it's against a team I know nothing about...or choose to know nothing about is probably a better way of putting it (Purdue, Wisconsin, etc.). The opportunity cost just isn't high enough. And anyone who took econ in college knows what I'm talkin' bout.
4. The Stakes. I will always say that I'd rather win ANY regular season SEC game over the bowl game. Let me clarify. Would I rather have beaten Kentucky or Vandy more than Va Tech in the upcoming Peach Bowl? Probably . I contemplated suicide after losing to these teams...probably a feeling I won't have if we lose the Peach Bowl. Does anyone really care that we lost to Boston College way back when? I'm not saying that I'd rather beat Kentucky more than a foe in the Sugar Bowl...but if there's an equal comparison, I'll always choose the regular season win in the SEC.
I'll counter these arguments with why I prefer to save my road trips for SEC games during the regular season.
1. Money. Typically a ticket to an SEC game on the road is cheaper than you'd find for a Bowl tikcet. J-Mass contends that he never goes to the game with a ticket and will almost always find a ticket for face value at the time of the game. The roadtrip we took to the South Carolina game this year was great because I was able to crash at a buddy's place and nobody had to fork over the chee$e for a hotel room. Never the case for Bowl games unless they're in Atlanta (which is one of the many reasons I'm excited for the Peach Bowl...and yes, me saying that I'm excited for a Bowl in Atlanta is causing Stanicek to rip his eyes out.)
2. Work. Drive Friday, game Saturday, drive home Sunday. No time off. Bada-bing.
3. The atmosphere. Where would you rather see a game? On a historic campus of another school from the SEC or in the parking lot of some NFL stadium? I CAN'T WAIT for the trip to Bama next year. It's #1 on the list of schools I need to visit and it's my "can't miss" road trip of 2007. I even loved going to the Vandy and Kentucky games a few years back. These are the schools of our conference and I feel like it's almost my duty to see these places.
4. The Stakes. While I kind of stated my stance on this earlier, let me tell you what Stanicek would talk about...and pretty much how'd he'd write it. "So you're telling me that you don't want to see two Top 25 teams play on New Year's Day in a game that's Nationally televised...AND it's the last game of the season? You make about as much sense as a one legged cow peeling bananas." My answer to his question would be yes, I would love to see that bowl game in person. But see my previous reasons why I'll probably pass and take other road trips during the season to SEC games.
It's not that I'm boycotting bowl games...I simply choose to attend the games where I feel like I HAVE to be in attendance each year (every home game, GA/FL, Auburn (as long as I don't have a wedding to attend), South Carolina, Bama, etc.). That list may expand in the near future but it's my stance right now. Both Sugar Bowls (New Orleans and Atlanta) were great and I'll probably continue to attend Sugar Bowls whenever UGA makes it in. They're no brainers...but other bowls are a different story.
Like I said, knock on my door in 30 years and ask me to head down to Orlando because UGA tennis is having a exhibition game against Orlando State and you'll probably hear me say "grab the beer, I'm driving." For now, I have to pick the road trips and games that are going to give me the most satisfaction. As Stanicek would say, "you are who you are because you do what you do." He's usually high.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
And this is exactly why McGwire doesn't belong in the Hall. If he doesn't want ANYTHING to do with his past, than the voters should do the same and not revisit it. He wants to be a forgotten person and the voters should grant him that wish by not voting him into the Hall of Fame where the discussion will most certainly continue and his past will be revisited. I wish Bonds, Palmeiro, and Sosa would do the same thing as McGwire and vanish to save himself the agony...but most importantly, their family's the scrutiny that surely follows them as long as they're in the limelight. The rumors a few weeks back that Palmeiro and Sosa were wanting to come back made me sick.
Great article by Barnhart in the AJC.
Monday, December 11, 2006
The answer is simple to me, but here's how a typical debate has gone down.
Me: C'mon Gators, let's get up and go!
Dummy: That's ridiculous. Don't root for Florida. We all know that the SEC is the best conference. We don't need a Florida win in the championship game to prove that point.
Me: Not true. All the sports writers across the county are doubting the SEC's reputation this year and it's on that reason we need to show them how much better this conference is than any others. Believe me...I watch "The Sports Reporters" every Sunday.
Dummy: But I HATE Florida. I mean, I really hate them.
Me: And I like them? I hate Florida just as much as the next guy. In fact, they just passed Georgia Tech as my most hated team in college football, but you're not getting my point. I'm not rooting for Florida, I'm rooting for the SEC.
Dummy: Wonderful Pasqua. All I need for next year is to go to Jacksonville for a Florida fan to do the National Championship dance right in my face.
Me: Have you ever enjoyed going to hang out with Florida fans? Have your encounters with them in the past been positive...even the years we've been there and have won? How about the year that Zook was on his way out and they were actually a very bad team? I had the same hatred for them that year that I do this year when they're very good. They rip our hearts out every year so they won't have to use the National Title argument. This is a sad fact...but true. No way a Florida fan could be any more obnoxious than they already are. Whenever it comes down to talking smack-a-lack, the only defense we've had for the past 10 years is some sort of phrase that involves "jean shorts" or "redneck fuc*er"...we really can't bring up the games. So they scream "National Title" over and over again. I'd rather them say that than continually bring up their record over UGA lately.
Dummy: I don't know...I just can't bring myself to do it.
Me: Well, I can tell you who Mark Richt is pulling for, how's that for convincing? It helps the SEC and that helps UGA. So get our your wrist bands and wife beaters because DAAAAAHHHH DAA DAAAAHH DAA DAAA DAAAAAH GO GATORS!!!. Uh oh, I may deserve a beatin' after that. Well, bring it on ya sissies pants.
do yo dance do yo dance. Mmm...
Friday, December 08, 2006
Welcome loyal readers. I would be doing a dis-service (sp) to craft a lengthy intro. Instead, just enjoy and let your compliments flow like the booze obviously was while we wrote.
tkelly78: had a couple of brews but nothing to damaging, you? is this part of the entry?
me: why not. I had a delightful meal with friends. Several vinos and I'm back
9:03 PM ready to analyze some bowls I know nothing about
tkelly78: WELCOME to the first edition of Pasqua and Stanicek's chat-cast of the bowl season...we believe this is the first ever chat-cast in human history...right?
me: If by first you mean, FIRST...then yes.
9:04 PM I'm having a hard time concentrating when all I can think about is the Allen Iverson trade that will soon happen. Stanicek...I'm sure you share my struggle.
9:05 PM tkelly78: right, excuse me, I did mean FIRST...and as for Allen Iverson, yeah it's eating at my mind like a zombified brainworm...I, for one, hope the Bullets trade Jeff and Moses Malone for AI.
9:06 PM me: I heard that's a possiblity. Jeff Malone. Wow, the last time I thought about him is probably about the same time I thought about Youngstown State. Segway ladies and gents...seg-way.
9:07 PM tkelly78: Yep - what a segway considering I didn't realize we were doing 1-AA games tonight. That's a surprise. Much like your dinner order tonight.me: Speaking of grouper, real quick TK, can you tell me, once again, for those who didn't hear our conversation earlier, what your 17 keys to victory are for Appalachian State in this matchup in reverse order.
9:10 PM tkelly78: #1 Stop being Appalachian State and be somebody good;
#2 - #17: See #1
Wow - we are really sidetracked...let's get to the dang BOWL GAMES KIDDO! First up on the hit parade...the Poinsettia Bowl, TCU v. Northern Illinois, TCU a 14 point favorite...who do you like muchacho?
9:11 PM me: how is that the first game? I got youngstown State and App State tomorrow at 4pm Tito
tkelly78: Are we doing the fricking I-AA playoffs now? I thought we were sticking to division I bowl games like the rest of us god-fearing Americans?!
me: Fine. Briefly (like my underoos)...I got Yougstown State manana getting 6.5.
9:13 PM As for Northern Illinois, didn't they have a Heisman candidate on their squad for a while?
Before the public realized that the kid was playing for NORTHERN ILLINOIS?
9:14 PM tkelly78: They sure did, Garret Wolfe...finished the year with 1900 yards. You like? Me - I'm going with TCU and their stud player...uh...Johnny...yeah... Johnny Quarterbackking
9:15 PM me: Being that my best friend (eat it Stanicek) went to Northern Illinois, I have to go with Norther ILL. They're getting 11.5 points for crissakes. NIU! NIU! NIU!!!!
9:16 PM So we're head to head on this one. Put the dogs to sleep via a needle to the neck...this chat-cast is getting heated!!! (please note...we had a quick technical difficulty right here)
Land Of Lincoln represent!!!
9:28 PM tkelly78: Next up - Las Vegas Bowl kids - Mormons v. Ducks...BYU favored by 3 1/2 over Oregon. This one...is a toughie...I don't think Oregon is good but Mormons scare me (not really to all our Mormon readers...I kid) I think I'm going with the mid-major in this one...GO MORMONS!
9:29 PM me: Mormons...what a fun word. Say it 4 times quick. Oregon has this kid by the name of Hawsakooch that is supposed to break out this week. Thus, my pick is the Duck. Plus, I saw someone eat duck tonight so that's a sign
9:30 PM tkelly78: Duck huh? You go to some swanky restaurants dontcha? I'm talking swanky swank....swankier than Hilary Swank.
9:31 PM me: http://www.horseradishgrill
9:33 PM tkelly78: Well good cause the next came is the New Orleans Bowl featuring two of our favorite teams...Troy State and Rice...Rice zooms in as a 6 point favorite....BUT I am going underdog on this one and saying Troy State comes out and covers in the Big Easy. And remember kids, if you are heading down to the Big Easy for the game go out in groups to be safe...groups...groupers...you ate grouper
9:35 PM me: I'm not kidding when I say this, you're 100% correct. Troy v. Rice. Two 4 letter schools. Coincidence? I...think...not. Rice is an underrated side dish and Troy was an underrated movie. Coincidence? I...think...well, I guess I think so. Anyways, I gotta go with Rice. 6 point favorite for a game I know nothing about says that team is favored for a REASON so we should expect a blowout.
9:36 PM Quick question. When you get Chinese do you go steamed or fried?
Follow up, what would we serve at Tent City if we were playing Rice???
9:37 PM tkelly78: First off - Troy sucked - sucked hard.
Second - its fried baby
third - I would say herring and rice balls deep fried in ham fat
9:38 PM me: First, you're right but I thought my sentence flowed better if I said they were both underrated. Second - No way. Third - whatever dude. Let's get to the battle of the DIRECTIONS!!!!
tkelly78: Ah yes - next up is the worst name the bowls have seen since the Poulan Weedeater Bowl...yep loyal readers its the papajohns.com bowl! South Florida taking on East Carolina, south florida is a 4 point favorite - who do you like?
9:39 PM me: Good karma to root for Florida during bowl season. Give me South Florida on this one.
9:40 PM And yes, that answers the question about who I'll be rooting for in National Champ game. Daahhh da da da da daaaa GO GATORS!!!
tkelly78: Me? I like the Bulls of South Florida? Why is South Florida the Bulls? Is South Florida that well known for its bull population? Shouldn't they be the "Cheesy Rednecks" or "Drugged out teenage partiers" or "Dead German Tourists" or "Excuse me sir do you have your green cards"?
9:41 PM Alas, I too like South Florida. BUT I will be a staunch supporter of Ohio State
me: then we agree. I can't wait to watch this game together and curse as South Florida crushes our hopes and dreams and pisses us off for weeks.'
9:43 PM tkelly78: NEXT - the New Mexico Bowl...surprisingly featuring...NEW MEXICO and they will be taking on San Jose St, New Mexico obviously is a 4 point favorite. I am riding the San Jose gravy train all the way to Coversville.
me: AYYY AYYY AYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! 3 words and 3 words only. Gimme New Mexicoso.
9:44 PM I root for all things Urban Meyer for the rest of this year, so let's cut to the chase. Utah baby. Utah.
9:45 PM And yea, feel free to blame that last bit of reasoning on the wine
9:46 PM tkelly78: Yep - the Armed Forces Bowl...since when did the Armed Forces get a bowl? I don't even get it. It used to be food products...i.e. Sugar, Orange, Peach...now all of a sudden we are naming bowls for organizations, I can't wait until Georgia plays in the Glass Cutters Union Local 76458 Piscataway, NJ Bowl
9:47 PM ANNNNNNYwho - Armed Forces Bowl - Utah a 1 1/2 point favorite over Tulsa - THIS kid is taking Utah but I do not acknowledge that Urban "The Whiner" Meyer ever coached there
9:48 PM Just saw a commercial for some NBA guy named Pau Gasol - he looks like the unabomber.
me: Give me the Utes for $200 Alex. Lindsey just made me put on Jeopardy in the background while she cooks for tomorrow's party.
9:49 PM Gasol is injured right now...you should know that as a responsible sports fan
9:50 PM 2...games...to...go
9:51 PM tkelly78: Yeah, right, the NBA is a sport...the NBA is a sporrt like wrestling is a sport. Speaking of that party of yours - is now a good time to tell you that we only have half of the money we owe you because Carrie paid all of our bills and didn't leave enough money in the checking account because I forgot to tell her that we owed you that money...ALRIGHT - the HAWAII BOWL!!! Hawaii is a 7 1/2 point favorite over Az state.
me: Speaking of favorites, the Kelly's just dropped a bunch of notches in my list of favorite people. Get used to the pictures in your head of Tim with unbroken thumbs. And, with that, give me Arizona State.
tkelly78: Ditto - I am taking Arizona State as well AND I just broke my own thumbs to deprive you of the satisfaction and you know what...it hurts just as much as you think it would.
9:54 PM me: well that makes me feel great. Too bad I was going to break your 4th toes as well. Get to breakin fat boy. And with that, we get to the last game.
tkelly78: Our final game for the first chat-cast is the Motor City Bowl featuring Middle Tennessee State and Central Michingan..OF COURSE Central Michigan is a 10 point fav. This one will be a back and forth game just like we've all come to expect from these two teams...cause we've seen them so much.
9:57 PM me: I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow. That, and I take Middle Tennessee State in EVERY spread after they almost beat UGA a few years back. Gimme MTS +10. I like this line better than the line I'm about to sni...GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!!!
9:58 PM tkelly78: I shall kiss you on the forehead tenderly if you can tell me what the mascots of these two teams...I goodsir will be taking the Chippewas over the Blue Raiders..DANGIT...well it looks like you have a tender kiss comin' Pasqua
10:00 PM me: I still am going to break your toesies. See that J-Mass? Toe'sies. We just finished our pick'ies and I'm about to get another drinkie to cap off the nightie!!! Hope to see everyone at my party-ie ie.
tkelly78: And-ie am-ie out-ie
I won't lie...it's not fun being a fan of a baseball team that has finished below .500 and in 4th place every year since 1998...that's 9 years in a row...pushing a DECADE people...yeah, it's tough. However, I could almost accept it if our GM and front office was only incompetent (which they are), you know, the sort of incompetency that leads them to believe giving Albert Belle a long term mega-deal and surround him with nobody else in the lineup and no pitchers is a good idea...the kind of incompetence that signs Jeff Conine, David Segui, and Sidney Ponson TWICE....that I could live with. But what I can not live with is when our GMs actually go out, work their hindquarters off to pull off a deal to make the team better (or at least try a new direction for gawdsakes) and that fat, maniacal, greedy, schlub owner of ours Peter "The Antichrist" Angelos VETOES IT!
Told you he was the antichrist
Ole Petey has been pulling this sh*t since October 1993 when His Accursedness took over our fair ballclub in beautiful Baltimore, MD. Last year the O's were poised to pull off a mega deal at the trade deadline that would have shipped Miguel Tejada to the Astros (just a few weeks before the "Tejada Used Steroids" flap hit no less) for Roy Oswalt and Adam Everett, immediately the Orioles would have then sent Oswalt to Texas for Hank Blalock and another prospect. Essentially the Orioles were getting three young promising players for Tejada...I'm not saying it would've been the best deal ever but it sure would have shaken things up on a team that hasn't sniffed third let alone first or second place since the pre-Lewinsky days. But what happens...the Crown Prince of Ownerly Darkness vetoes it because "Tejada is too popular of a player, he sells tickets"...VETO.
Then...just this week...the O's are on the brink of pulling off another blockbuster...Brian Roberts and a prospect for Adam LaRoche and Marcus Giles. This would have addressed our need for a big bat at first and to bat cleanup in LaRoche and essentially was an even swap of second basemen. Enter the Dark Lord..."We can't trade Brian Roberts, he's too popular a player, he sells tickets, and the ladies love him"...VETO. HEY! You know what else sells a lot of tickets? Probably even more that B-Rob flashing a smile at some pre-pubescent girl? WINNING!
Here's the recap of the deal in today's Baltimore Sun:
"They did essentially agree to a trade that would have sent second baseman Brian Roberts and pitching prospect Hayden Penn to the Atlanta Braves for first baseman Adam LaRoche and second baseman Marcus Giles, but the trade was squashed by Orioles owner Peter Angelos. "
By denying every trade that comes across his desk Angelos is dooming the Orioles to a lifetime of fourth place finishes. Angelos won't sign any free agents because he says they cost too much but they only cost too much because no one wants to play for a loser like the Orioles so the GM has to compensate by offering the player even more money...it's a vicious circle and one that was very obvious this year...see Carlos Lee, Alfonso Soriano, and Jason Schmidt (all had deals from the Orioles and in the case of Lee and Schmidt were offered MORE money by the O's than the deal they finally signed but still turned Baltimore down).
I'm not saying we have to go out and be the Red Sox and offer $51 million to every Japanese guy on the street that can throw a fastball just to get back at the bigger, better Yankees...I'm just saying that the current system is not working, you would think nine years of 4th place finishes would have clued Petey in on that, and Angelos needs to finally let the people he hired to make baseball decisions make them.
I mean seriously...what other team in all of sports is so pathetic and lead by such an evil owner that it causes its fan to rise up and protest?!
September 20, 2006 - Over 1,000 fans leave Camden Yards in the middle of the game to protest Peter Angelos' destruction of their beloved Orioles.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
You've probably heard about a few of these but Gene does an admirable job to devote an entire article on the premier sports website to these heroic kids and coaches.
Plus, Gene has a horrendous last name which is always near and dear to my heart. My top 5 ridiculous last names in sports right now:
Hmm...4 of the 5 have a "Z" in them. I guess I could've added Przybilla, Grudzielanek, and Pierzynski for continuitzy zake. Wow, that's lame...but so am I.
p.s. UGA just landed it's 3rd verbal committment of 2008!!! CMR and company have recruiting on cruise control.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
It's like the sound the ocean makes against a baby's bottom. Wait...smooth as the tide on a newborn. Shi*. It's smooth, okay?
So Congrats and here's to hoping you make it into Cooperstown.
Monday, December 04, 2006
I felt the need to expand on a comment I made in the college football picks from the previous week...the Christmas Movie Top Five. Yes, Christmas is right around the corner, in case you haven't been hit in the head with enough Christmas-themed ads to remind you, (speaking of ads with Christmas songs in them - what is the deal with that song from "Sound of Music"...I believe it's called "Favorite Things" or "A Few of my Favorite Things" or some such...since when does this qualify as a Christmas song? "Sound of Music" isn't a Christmas movie its about crazy antics involving strange blonde kids, a nanny, and Nazis...so why does this get the OK from the Council of Christmas Music?) which means it's time for Christmas movies. I L-O-V-E Christmas movies...they are simply fantastic, the cat's meow, the cat's pajamas, and the cat's cats. They remind me of growing up, wrapping presents, and taking nips from stray, unclaimed mugs of egg nog...all that is right about the season. So without further adieu...Stanicek's Top Five Christmas Movies...
5) White Christmas - purely a nostalgia pick on my part. My family used to wear this one out around the holidays and my sisters could be heard from anywhere in the neighborhood belting out the song "Sisters", featuring a young Rosemary Clooney, when it is sung about 20 minutes into this Bing Crosby vehicle. Definitely the least impressive on this list however and I would not be offended if someone slid "A Christmas Story" in at this spot.
4) Scrooged - for a long time this film was woefully underappreciated by the masses but thanks to the fact that there are now 178 cable channels that need to fill air time...it is having a rebirth. This is Bill Murray playing the same character he played in pretty much every comedy he was in from 1980 to 1993....the smarmy, wise-cracking, a-hole...and man...is he GREAT. If you don't laugh at "LEE MAJORS IN - THE NIGHT...THE REINDEER DIED", "The bitch hit me with a toaster", "Oh my GOD! Does THAT suck", or "I'm sorry...you know I thought you were Richard Pryor" than some part of you has died.
Bill Murray? Carol Kane? Robert Goulet? Lee Majors? Bobcat Goldwaith AND Buster Poindexter?! NOW THAT'S A Christmas movie!
3) A Christmas Carol (1951 - Alistair Sim version) - Sanford Stadium holds 92,746 and there just as many versions of Dickens' story...however, this one takes the cake. As far as I'm concerned there has been and never will be another Ebeneezer Scrooge like Alistair Sim. This film transitions from creepy (a scene with tortured souls writhing and lamenting around a street child and woman) and dark (it looks fantastic in black and white) to joyous with remarkable ease. And as for Sim...if you've seen it - you know what I'm talking about...he is the King of Scrooge - he makes George C. Scott and Patrick Stewart his Srooge bit*h.
Now THAT'S a Scrooge...the look almost screams "George C. Scott...I OWN you!"
2) Holiday Inn - Bing Crosby and Irving Berlin make their second appearance in the top 5. This is the film that introduced the world...for the very first time...to the song "White Christmas". However, it is quite a remarkable piece of cinematic gold aside from that famous bit of trivia. Bing opens up an inn in "Coh-nech-tuh-cit" that is only open on Holidays and starts a rivalry over a lady with fellow entertainer Fred Astaire. This movie is top notch old school Hollywood musical...and contains one of the most jaw-droppingly racist songs/dance routines during a musical number on Lincoln's Birthday (but hey, it was 1940...look at it is as a bit of American history).
Got to love old movies - where the answer to any of life's problems was to get slam damn hammered.
1) It's a Wonderful Life - Could it really be anything else. Jimmy Stewart was a classic...he just oozes Americana and this film is right in his wheelhouse. The person that looks me in the eye and says they don't get the least bit choked up when George reachese for Zuzu's petals or when Harry Bailey bursts in and says "To my big brother George, the richest man in town!"...is the person that had their soul sold at auction for a nickel.
I know Uncle Billy didn't really wind up in the mental institution thanks to George...but the booze...all those wild animals he lives with...the obvious dementia...I'm just saying it's something the Bailey family might want to look into.
Same goes to Danny Ware.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Lines from Danny Sheridan 12/2:
LAST WEEK ATS: 4-4-1
OVERALL AT: 43-38-2
West Virginia -9 1/2 vs. Rutgers - Rutgers had their big win against Louisville and it is written in ancient lore that the Scarlet Knights shall only have one big win a decade.
Southern Cal -13 @ UCLA - You think teams "overlook" a game that decides whether they are in the National Championship? Nuh-uh. Plus I heard people talking about UCLA's homefield advantage...HOMEFIELD ADVANTAGE? This is the Pac-10 people! UCLA will be lucky if less than 50% of the stadium isn't on their cell phones at any given time.
Wake Forest +2 1/2 vs. GA Tech - Speaking of fans - can you believe the apathy being shown towards this game. Let me rephrase..."I am not surprised at all by the apathy being shown towards this game." Tech having to reduce the price of its student tickets to get ANYONE to come to this game is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. On another note kudos to Jim Donnan for coming up with a great name for this game on his radio show (I hope I get this right): "World's Dullest Outdoor Cocktail Party".
San Jose State -4 vs. Fresno State - SJS AT HOME PEOPLE! Easier to pick than an empty six pack ring out of an arcade crane game.
Oklahoma -3 1/2 vs. Nebraska - My five favorite holiday movies in no particular order: It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooged, Holiday Inn, A Christmas Carol (1951 Alistair Sim version), and White Christmas. That's all you need.
Oregon State +8 1/2 @ Hawaii - Because I said so.
Florida -2 1/2 vs. Arkansas - Do it.
Army +19 1/2 vs. Navy - Cuhmon.
Colorado State -2 1/2 @ San Diego State - As you can tell I am running out of time.
BONUS 10th PICK - California -29 vs. Stanford - Sorry this was such a lame effort. But I had to read and if I procrastinated anymore I would feel even worse today as I pretended to study with a book in my lap and Reggie Ball whining and throwing picks on the TV.
Check out Joshua's bevy of NFL picks...just don't call them pickies.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Army +19.5 @ Navy
When in doubt, choose da boats. I saw a projection that Navy will play Clemson in their bowl. GREAT SEASON CLEMSON!!! No matter what, that team will have 7-8 wins and that's it...it's in their bylaws or something.
Stanford +29.5 @ Cal
I'm sick of everyone talking about how Cal is the high definition TV of college football. Blow me Cal. Speaking of high def, I just got it set up on my plasma and you're all not invited to watch it!!!
USC -12.5 @ UCLA
USC's offense and defense is SO pretty. Hell, I'll say it right now that they win the National Championship...screw the Big 10. Dwayne Jarrett dropped a haymaker on Calvin Johnson and ended the debate about who's the best reciever in college football. They're simply fun to watch...so damn pretty. As a matter of fact, the only way to compare the prettiness is...well...look down.
As Dwayne Wayne said in "White Men Can't Jump"..."it's pretty...so pretty."
UCONN +28 at Louisville
Wow could I care less about this game? I would make a pick on Rutgers vs. West Virginia but the bookie I use does't have it set yet. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict a PUSH in this game. That's right...if EITHER team covers the spread I lose. Final is 48-20. Wow...now I'm kind of interested in this game to see if Louisville wins by 28. If I get this pick right, I'm going to proclaim that I'm the Man of the Year. Granted, I've won this award the previous 25 years since I make up the entire selection committee, but still.
Wake Forest +2.5 vs. GA Tech
NERDS!!! I wouldn't bet on this team if they were playing themselves in the ACC Champioship. They can't beat anybody is what I'm getting at. Kudos to Doug for calling out Reggie Ball for what he really is. A no-talent ass clown who, next year, will be telling me "third theatre to your left" after tearing my ticket stub. I bet he gets fired from that job after giving the stub to the wrong person too often.
"To Hell with Georgia. To hell with allergy season for that matter. GLLLAVIN!!"
Arkansas +2.5 vs. Florida
Everyone debates the BCS and how much of a crock it is. I'm one of the few who's fine with the way the system is right now. What I don't understand, and I'm not sure why this topic doesn't get more debate, is why some conferences have a Championship Game and some don't. Another topic that doesn't get much attention...why I don't eat more fruit. Every time I eat fruit it's a taste explosion and I wonder why I don't eat more. Anyone have this problem?
Nebraska +3.5 vs. Oklahoma
The other night I had a dream where my buddy was running for Governor and I was his main campaign person. SOMEBODY apparently didn't agree with our platform because, in my dream, I go to my car and get in but realize that there's someone in my back seat and before I can get out he slits my throat. Literally there's blood everywhere and this dude runs off like he's The Flash. Luckily I wake up before I die but my question is would I rather actually live out that dream or watch this game?
There you have it. Check out Josh's NFL extravaganzzzer for all the Pro knowledge you can handle BROTHA!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
If WillieMart would've left there'd obviously be a vacant position at Defensive Coordinator. I have to believe that EVERYONE would be calling for Will Muschamp to return to Athens where he belongs. Had THAT scenario played out, I think it would've been the end of Rodney Garner as a Bulldog. He almost left the first time Richt passed him up as DC...another pass on him would've been too much. As good of a recruiter as Garner is, I have to believe that if he were truly qualified to be DC, he would've been promoted after Van Gorder left.
With another year or two of Martinez as DC will be good for UGA. While I wouldn't have thought that 3 weeks ago, I do believe it now...and hopefully Garner will stick around and continue to bring in the studs he always does.
I wish I could add audio to this post because Munson's call after the go-ahead TD last weekend was sent to me. It's classic Munson. Let me know if you want me to email it to you...or if you'd just like to hear me do my best Munson impression. It's something along the lines of "and we're kicking and clawing and reaching and hurting."
I hope everyone enjoys their dinner tonight!!!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Much like the tears were building in my eyes last year with DJ Shockley hoisting the SEC trophy, I had the same feeling watching Reggie Ball walk off the field Saturday. Remember how we chanted "DJ, DJ, DJ" at the Dome? I never thought we'd chant another quarterbacks name to honor his career in less than 12 months. Boy was I wrong.
UGA and Auburn lost two huge champions of their program in successive days. Auburn lost their favorite coach of all time in Shula and UGA lost their favorite QB of all time in Ball. A sadder two days for respected programs I cannot recall.
My deepest and most sincere apologies about not getting my picks done before this past weekend's games. Family and the holiday reigned supreme over the chance to blog. 1,359 apologies.
I want ideas on New Year's. Something fun. Any thoughts? I was thinking about throwing a Reggie Ball themed party. Everyone could come as their favorite Reggie Ball of the past 4 years. The 4 different Reggie's you could come as would be:
1. "Concussion" Reggie. Walk around in a daze and leave half way into the party.
2. "Throw the Ball Away on 3rd Down" Reggie. Pop the champagne at 10:59pm, fall asleep 10 minutes before the countdown, throw your drink away immediately if you "don't like what you see", etc.
3. "Do okay until the final moment" Reggie. Have a few good one-liners, set up your better looking friend with a hot chick (like Reggie did for Calvin on that fade route in the 2005 game), but ultimately make a horrible decision right as the night's on the line...kinda like screaming "I pissed in the punch ya sissies. DRINK UP!!!" right before midnight.
4. "Just Plain Sad" Reggie. Maybe go to a party and get beat up by a guy 4 years younger than you. Or go to a party and hype it up that this is the year you're going to surprise everyone and be cool...then show up just in your boxers. Everyone will be kind of grossed out and won't want to talk to you...even your close friends. Then, as you continue to fart in a corner and smoke inside while it's clear that there's no smoking inside, the others at the party chant your name to make you leave.
What NFL team do I hate? Hmm...I guess I'd have to say The Redskins just because they're Stanicek's favorite. Here's to hoping the Skins draft Reggie Ball. God...Bless...Reggie...Ball.
Reggie fumbles as he realizes "oh wait...phew. It's 1st down and fumbles don't count unless they're on 2nd or 3rd down. Hamburgers are good when grilled...especially when I have ketchup."
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Well, it's probably for the best considering how miserable I was last week. I now hover at .500 and the horrid stench of mediocrity surrounds me...I'm not used to this...I'm not mediocre at anything...except school...and athletic competition...and singing...and driving...and creativity...and...
Last week ATS: 3-6
Overall ATS: 39-34-1
Kentucky +19 @ Tennessee - I've stuck by my C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS...all year...so much so that they even betrayed me by beating my D-A-W-G-S DAWGS DAWGS DAWGS! But I think the motivation of playing for second place in the SEC East is enough to overcome that UT home field advantage and propel Woodson and the boys to a 17 point loss and cover.
NC State -3 vs. East Carolina - I call it stuffing NOT dressing. In fact I think anyone that says dressing needs to have dirty gym socks stuffed into their mouths and then beaten with a rusty egg whisk...everyone except for my wife...and Cal Ripken if he says "dressing"...and Jesus...but I am pretty dang sure Jesus said "stuffing" but I bet his stuffing included a bunch of gross stuff like figs.
Jesus...he could turn water into wine, walk on water, but he couldn't keep these things out of the stuffing...Judas said it "ruined the whole meal".
Florida -9 1/2 @ Florida State - With all apologies to the LadyEagle (again...I don't know why I bother because neither her nor John "Captain Moe-ron" Hart read this thing...but have you SEEN the Seminoles...I'd rather watch Pasqua regurgitate his 7th Thanksgiving meal in less than a week onto a dinner platter.
UNC -7 @ Duke - Zoinks homefield Blue Devil advantage - worth at least...a complimentary tube of Cortaid.
Reading the back of this box is equal to or greater than the excitement generated by Duke football.
LSU Pick'em @ Arkansas - I'm sure you all listened to the podcast so there's no need to discuss this game again...what was your favorite part of what I said...I thought so.
Clemson -5 1/2 vs. South Cack - What do you think Santa's cholesterol is? Seriously, the North Pole probably doesn't get many vegetable shipments...this kid's got to be eating elk meat 24-7-365...and boy is elk meat riiiccchhh.
San Jose St. -6 @ Idaho - Are you kidding me with this line? It's more appealing than a forkful of cranberry, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and turkey dripping with gravy...ooo boy someone's going to be having some weird Thanksgiving food-induced dreams tonight.
Boise State -3 @ Nevada - Follows my age old rule "Always pick Boise State until they play a team that you can name the mascot of within 4 seconds". 3...2...1...see I told you to pick Boise.
Ole Miss -3 vs. Miss State - The Egg Bowl...the EGG BOWL? That's what they came up with. There better be a GREAT story behind this game. What a stupid name...why don't we just call the UGA-Ga Tech game the Falafel Classic...or the Zagnut Rumble. Stupid.
Stop HIM! He's stealing Dextah Mah-Cluh-Stah's Giant Golden Egg Shaped troph...ahh, forget about it, tell him he can keep it.
Sorry - told you it would be short and sweet and probably light on the humor...well you know what...bite me...it's pretty tough to read about RICO conspiracy all day and then have some nameless gaggle of online readers demand the funny from you....alright, sorry bout that...I guess I should have said "light on the humor, heavy on the anger".
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Here is the actual letter Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh sent
As I told a few friends - I have to assume that this is some sort of power play on New Line's part to resolve this auditing lawsuit going on between the studio and Jackson. Fan backlash has already been substantial and New Line has to know that they would be throwing away a sure-fire Top Ten All-Time Grossing Movie is they let Jackson go. At the same time I think the above letter from Jackson is a power play on his part as well - both sides are looking for leverage in this lawsuit and as the Variety article stated, the issue of Peter Jackson directing the Hobbit is far from decided. I anticipate some serious legal negotiations about the auditing lawsuit to go forward soon, a resolution will be achieved and Jackson will be asked back to helm the project.
The entangled rights of The Hobbit film is actually quite an interesting legal question and one I would be happy to talk with you about on an individual basis. However...I'm pretty sure if I wrote about it on this blog now I would be given an atomic wedgie at the upcoming GA-GA Tech game.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
I guess it was my blogging conscience that woke me up since I hadn't gotten these picks finished yet. But still bloggin conscience, I've gone through countless Saturday's this fall having to wake up at 6:30am to claim "the" spot on South Campus. You couldn't give me this Saturday? Well F you. I hope this blog entry stinks. No...I didn't mean that.
Thanks to Stanicek's picks, I have some decent games to pick this week. Thank you kind sir, I hope you enjoy your ribs today and have that pineapple juice you've been whining about.
Illinois (-2 1/2) at Northwestern
CHOO CHOO!!! Well, the train that is Illinois came off the track a little bit last week. It wobbled...if that's possible for a train to do. But all they have to do in this one is win by a field goal. Even a wobbly train could get that done.
easy...easy. It's just Northwestern.
Oklahoma State (+6) at Texas Tech
Let's remember that sand used to be a rock. The rock that is Texas Tech just had a strong gust of wind take a little smidge of it's surface and turned it into sand after last week's dissapointing non-cover. But the rock is still a rock. It's re-grouped and re-rocked. Texas Tech is, dare I say, ready to rock. Wow...my ability to "funny" has hit an all time low.
Texas Tech needs to throw the rock to win. Phew...I'm all punned out.
Michigan (+7) at Ohio State
Game of the millenium...but only for the planet Earth. I'm convinced that on some planet far away there's a huge rivalry game going on between the unbeaten Galactanoids and the unbeaten Nifebulums. Galactanoids storied coach, Roctarloch Craxwachlank, died yesterday too in a tragic phasetroid accident. This is shaping up to be a good one.
In all seriousness, I truly hope for a close game. Has there EVER been a better scripted scenario for a regular season game? Ever? I don't think it's possible. Too bad I'll be watching the Auburn/Bama game instead. F the Big Ten.
Auburn (-3) at Alabama
Auburn got blindsided by UGA. Bama lost to the better in Mississippi State. I truly believe that. There's a nice conspiracy going around that Auburn will throw this game just so Shula keeps his job at Bama...which would secure the next 4 years for Auburn. Interesting, but this isn't Da Vinci Code (which hits the shelves Tuesday), it's college football. Take Auburn in a close one...just like the Illumanati would've planned it.
Arkansas (-14) at Mississippi State
So I was at a Thanksgiving party last night (kind of weird concept, I admit, but a great time. I made a killer mac and cheese if you were wondering. You weren't? Well F-you. Thanks to the D'Amico's for hosting). The majority of those attending were Auburn fans and at one point I was playing XBox 360 against Jean (the host and huge AU fan). I picked up the controller and found myself knee deep in an NCAA football game between Auburn and Alabama. I'm kicking his as* and Kristin (Jean's fiance and converted AU, fan bless her heart) comes and says "Tov, what the hell are you doing as Alabama. Why aren't you Georgia?" to which I obviously reply in a laughing voice "Because that would be too easy". T'hank God that Jean didn't retort with some sort of "Vandy/Kentucky" response because that's already starting to get old. Later on in the evening I was discussing today's games and this one (Arkansas/MSU if you've already forgotten) came up. Jean actually talked about how Mississippi State has a chance to win and if they did and it's followed by an LSU victory over Arkansas, Auburn is representing the West. I found that intriguing because it's not the most ridiculous scenario I've heard. Now I'm nervous because I can feel this choke coming on by Arkansas...and I really don't want Auburn to go to the SEC Championship game. F Auburn.
Cal (+6) at USC
I'm sick of hearing how good Cal is considering the two times I've seen them play, they've dry heaved all over the field. F that team. USC is plaing for the big one and I see them smokin' these fools like Stanicek is going to smoke them ribs today. I wish I could have smoked ribs. Thanks for the invite dude...no really...thanks.
Michigan State (+18) at Penn State
Penn State has 4 losses. The 4 teams that they've lost to have lost a total of 2 GAMES!!! That's a rough schedule. Michigan is playing for Bo, Penn State is playing for Jo Pa's leg. Bigger motivation? Mmmm...too close to call.
WIN ONE FOR THE TIBIA!!!
South Florida (+17) at Louisville
Louisville probably wants to score 900 points in this game to prove that they're not a horrible offense. When was the last time the "#1 offense" was shut down like they were against Rutgers? It was like seeing a guy that always gets the girl use his "go to" line and striking out. Let's call this guy "Hohn Jart" for all intensive purpopses, remaining as vague as possible, and not ruining anyone's identity. That game against Rutgers went a little something like this:
Hohn Jart: Yo baby, have you ever eaten a PB and J after visiting the zoo?
Broad: That would normally work, but you're a bastard.
Hohn Jart (reverting to his last resort...speaking like an old Italian accent): Whadaya mean ma bella? I'm a gonna treat you like a thin-ah slice of proscuitto.
Broad: F you Hohn. Louisville sucks too.
**sorry for all the F-Bombs. I guess I'm pissed off about not sleeping in. F me.**
Friday, November 17, 2006
Picks to come...daddy's been "busy". Man I hate having a job.
Behold Dumbus! Notice how he points to his abnormally large ear that can not even be concealed by the helmet. Hide the children.
It truly was a special day for Wifeicek and I....much like our last trip to Auburn in 2002. In fact I am thinking about moving into that stadium permanently as it has been the site of two of the happiest days of my life. I’m thinking about a nice little condo on the 35 where I can see future generations of Bulldogs intercept future generations of mediocre Auburn QBs and dive futuristically into the endzone only to be futuristically flagged by futuristic refs.
Last week ATS: 4-4-1
Overall ATS: 36-28-1
Cincy +6 ½ vs. Rutgers - Listen kids – I’m all about this Rutgers story it’s as fun as a barrel of rusty screwdrivers but this one just screams “let down”. Allow me to make one point though – if Rutgers pulls the unthinkable and goes undefeated, they deserve to be in the National Championship. College football can’t shower WVU and Louisville with gifts of scented soaps and lilacs when they were undefeated and then push Rutgers to the curb like so much volleyball. If Rutgers goes undefeated and doesn’t go to the Nat Champ then we have to revoke the Big East’s status as a BCS conference and make it a mid-major...anything else doesn’t make sense. Consider me off the soapbox.
Wake +2 vs. VT – As one Sasha LadyEagle can attest...Wake is fo’ real. And if Sasha actually reads this (heck even her erstwhile travel partner Jonathan Hart) blog I will do a traditional Irish jig during halftime of the Tech game.
Duke +26 ½ @ Ga Tech- Oh Duke – you’re so lovable. Just keep telling yourself that you don’t mind looking like complete and utter idiots in almost every athletic competition because you dominate in one sport. You Duke football guys are so cute...like a bushel full of soon-to-be slaughtered baby cows going off to the veal factory.
Listen to that crowd roar! Well...listen to Kyle, the Duke fan, roar!
Maryland +7 @ BC – You can’t hold back that Terrapin pride...nor can you hold back the destructive Tsunami (I can make Tsunami references again right? It’s been awhile) that IS the Terp offense....the Terp offense juggernaut smells blood and chances are they could score upward of 17 in this one.
Temple +31 ½ @ Navy – This falls under my “No one should ever be 30+ point underdogs to Navy” rule
Miami -3 @ UVA – What the H is up with this OJ interview? Fox television has effectively reached the all-time low in broadcasting history. Anyone who watches this needs to be punched in the gut and forced to work 35 hours of community service. I’m sure it won’t damage OJ’s kids fragile psyche whatsoever as they are forced to watch their father “hypothetically” tell the world how he “would” have killed their mother. American pop culture! What a feeling.
Oh Nordberg...can't we go back to the way things used to be?
Vandy +8 ½ vs. Tenn – call this the “please God, please Lord almighty make this happen for me” game. How great would it be to see Tennessee lose two in a row to Vandy and watch UT’s “comeback season” result in 4 or 5 losses? It would be as great as tipping over your box of Rainbow Nerds and getting that one GIGANTIC Nerd that dwarfs all the others and sends you into a sugar-induced coma.
Sweet globs of hardened sugar...your spell over me will be my undoing
Ole Miss +27 ½ @ LSU – Dextah MAH-Clus....oh f-it...you know the drill. Ole Miss sucks but I gotst to give it to them one last time.
NC State -4 @ UNC – OH THE PAGEANTRY! No game quite matches the feel of the good ole fashioned backyard brawl between NC State and UNC. Almost as exciting as a 4th viewing of Colin Farrell and Christian Bale in “The New World”. Had to get my Christian Bale knock in... I’m telling you Christian...LIGHTEN UP! You’re a fricking actor! Crack a dang smile!
In a bizarre effort to reach out to ANYONE, UNC adopts a tackling method that can best be described as somewhere betweeen "Dancing With the Stars" and gay porn.
Get your National Football Federation Assocation League on over at Joshua's blogateria
Thursday, November 16, 2006
He's my favorite writer, but this doesn't help.
Stay tuned for the college football picks.
Podcast 10 - an examination on why I don't care about Ohio State OR Michigan and will instead watch the Iron Bowl
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Shouldn't Mikey make an announcment that he is "withdrawing himself as a candidate to recieve the Thug of the Year award and that he would never want to be affiliated with a reciever that is completely screwing anyone who drafted him in fantasy football this year."
Ummm...no? Isn't this taking the "Thanks for never being any good" thing too far? Why would Richt honor JTIII and not all the seniors? I'm pretty sure Michael Turner, Marquis Elmore, Dale Dixon, etc. are all seniors but they're not guarenteed to start. This game means so much to UGA fans that I have to think that we're going to play with the best available. If JTIII is a true "Damn Good Dawg" he'll tell coach not to bother and that he wants to go out with a win...rather than some playing time.
A promising article in the AJC yesterday regarding recruiting that you can read here. Basically, Rennie Curran (a stud LB that's a strong committment) is saying he's getting a good feeling about Caleb King coming to UGA. King, who was previously the #1 RB in the nation according to rivals.com before his injury, is deciding between UGA, AU, and one other ACC school. We haven't signed a RB for 2007 so he would be all we need in that regard.
The other article talked about how Brookwood's coach said that Rennie Curran is the best defensive player he's ever coached in 30 years. While I have very little respect for high school coach's opinions (I used to live with a guy that said Asher Allen is weak), I hope this dude's opinion or Curran is true.