Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Picks. Don't Read if You Want Losers!!!

Thanks for the hundreds of emails wishing we well in the upcoming fantasy NBA season. To let you know, I've done pretty well so far even though Andrei Kirilenko, my 2nd pick, has been horribly dissapointing so far. Believe me, this is a long season so expect hundreds of updates and blog entries as it progresses.

I did pretty well with my picks last week. 5-3 or samethin...I don't keep track like my counterpart. Speaking of Stanicek, a special thanks to you sir for taking every single good game to cover. I'm left with So. Miss v. Tulane and Rice v. Tulsa to entertain the masses. I swear to God, it's a matter of days before you, Stanistink (hehe), are booted from my blog. On that pleasant note...take the following as gospel:

Louisville (-6) at Rutgers
Let the record show I made this pick before kickoff. Let's get one thing straight. This is Rutgers. Rutgers. More like "What"gers. Or "Ticketswerestillonsalethedayofthebiggestgameintheirschool'shistory"gers. Rutgers is cooked with a capital QW. And, yes, I'm one for Louisville getting to play in the title game after they run the table and have two blowouts on National TV. Holy Guacamole, ESPN just interviewed a 110 year old Rutgers fan that sang SOMETHING into the camera. I couldn't tell if it was the fight song or he was moaning for some Robitussin. I pray someone else saw this.

Purdue (+2 1/2) at Illinois
I've been riding the Illini Train for 3 weeks now and they've covered every time. "Juice" is everything he's cracked up to be and, dare I say, THE ZOOKER IS BACK!!! Illinois is going to win the Big Ten next year and all will rejoice. Wow, I just had a great bite of chicken caesar salad.

High gas prices don't mean a thing to this train...its chuggin along on "Juice"

Georgia Tech (-13) at N.C. State
I've bet against Tech and it's burned me two weeks in a row. Both times I've posted pictures of nerds and they bite me like they would if they found themselves in an arm wrestling match. Well, if I've learned one thing about nerds, it's that you keep betting against them especially if they're favored by more than 10 on the road. I could see N.C. State winning this game...and I hate nerds unless they're of the candy variety.

Georgia (+12) at Auburn
Okaaaayyyyyyy. Ummmmmm. Hmmmm. Go Dawgs? I don't know anymore. Seriously though, there is absolutely zero pressure on us while Auburn is still playing for the SEC West. We should come out loosy goosy and ready to have some darn fun...like I'm gonna have at the wedding I'm going to Saturday. Or, for that matter, the wedding I'm going to be at for the Oklahoma State game next year!!! Nothing says "College Football" like fall weddings.

LOCK 'O DA DANG WEEK:
Texas Tech (+9) at Oklahoma
You're getting the lock of the week early folks. I'm not one for statistics, but here's one I found interesting: Texas Tech is 99-1 against the spread in their last 100 games. Who are these people betting against TT? Probably the same people who say that rock loses 1 out of 3 times in Scissor Paper Rock. Truly moronic.

psst. bet on the hand on the bottom.

Oregon (+8 1/2) at USC
How many cars do you think Nissan has sold as a result of their new ad campaign that involves the dude living in his Altima? My guess is -35,000. In the words of old school Adam Sandler, "WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS THAT CAME UP WITH THIS ONE???"

Kent (+30 1/2) at Virginia Tech
Who to take, who to take? Kent Ore Va Tech? HAHAHAHA. Wow, I'm on fire...what a great great joke. It's great because I used the name of the running back from Virginia Tech in the sentence. I haven't read comedy like that since Louis Anderson hosted Family Fued. Talk about two guys with messed up bodies. Louis Anderson and Frank Beamer. Who would you take in that ugly contest?

This Bud's for you God for deciding that two men can't reproduce

Chicago (pk) at NY Giants
I'm sorry but there are ZERO good games left to pick so I'm taking a quick skip across the border and stepping on Josh's toes here. And because, before the year's over, I wanted to say this. Sexy Rexy Grossman. Man does that flow like chianti down a funnel.

4 comments:

Jmac said...

Just for the record ... I had Rutgers.

adam said...

Tech plays North Carolinny this week, you rube.

Pasqua said...

I don't care who they play, I'm taking the other team. If they were playing Tucker, I would've written about how "Coach Craft has his boys ready for this one and I wouldn't put it past Tucker to pull off the upset and carry...well...jog with Coach Craft off the field."

adam said...

Craft would argue that his team's muscley arms are large enough to support his frame. Why, just the other day one of his linemen benched 450 lbs. Can you believe that?!

...if Tucker beats Cedar Grove (where the hell?) tonight, I want a picture of Craft being carried off the field.

As his ex-roomie, I expect you to make that happen.