Wednesday, November 01, 2006

How do I hate thee...let me count the ways....

For the two of you who care...the NBA season started this week, and will most likely conclude some time in the 22nd century. I am a basketball fan. Love the sport. Played it. Coached it. Watch it. But my enthusiasm dies once those that play it leave the hallowed halls of academia. The NBA is where all of my favorite college players go to die. It's like a Twilight Zone episode, one minute I'm cheering for Kerry Kittles at Nova or Jumaine Jones at UGA, the next, they walk through some rift of dimensions and I never see or hear of them again. If posed the question right now I bet I could be presented with a list of 30 of the fellas I followed in college and I couldn't even tell you where 5 of them are playing right now in the NBA.

You may not believe me, but, as you can see, this cartoon says it all.

Of course this is entirely of my own doing...when NBA highlights come on Sportscenter I immediately flip to something ANYTHING else on TV...if Hawks coverage takes front page on the AJC I rip out the story and burn it, if someone tries to tell me about the big trade they just made in their fantasy NBA league I sharpen my two pairs of kitchen shears and plunge them handle deep into my ears. Yes...this god-awful "sport" is back for EIGHT months of:

  • coliseums with so much rocking music, laser beams and pyrotechnics you feel like you walked into a Scorpions concert
  • a regular season more meaningless (what is it 32 teams, 20 get in the playoffs?) than a mid September Royals-DRays showdown
  • marquee stars with so much contempt for their coaches and fans they are actually compelled to physically assault them
  • players loafing up and down the court and looking like they care about the game as much as I care about who won "Dancing with Project Stars of Runway" on Bravo.

So cover your eyes friends because now that baseball is over and college football chugs towards its inevitable conclusion, all us good God-fearing sports fans are left with is the Super Bowl and college basketball. But fear not gentle citizens....just 105 more days until pitchers and catchers report.

1 comment:

Adam said...

NBA: Worst. Sport. Evar.

Professional basketball coverage is the reason I generally don't watch sports from February to August.

It's also the reason for herpes. Or at least a large contributor to it spreading around.