Who's ready for some conference championship action? Can you feel the excitement? Me either...but it's our duty to watch. I saw a Florida flag on my way into work and it made me nauseous and that single visual made it 100% Krystal clear who I'm rooting for this weekend. I was thinking that I would play the "We CRUSHED the team that beat the team that won the SEC and should be in the National Title game" but F that...it's back to the "look at the guy in jean shorts cry with his boyfriend" hopes.
Army +19.5 @ Navy
When in doubt, choose da boats. I saw a projection that Navy will play Clemson in their bowl. GREAT SEASON CLEMSON!!! No matter what, that team will have 7-8 wins and that's it...it's in their bylaws or something.
Stanford +29.5 @ Cal
I'm sick of everyone talking about how Cal is the high definition TV of college football. Blow me Cal. Speaking of high def, I just got it set up on my plasma and you're all not invited to watch it!!!
USC -12.5 @ UCLA
USC's offense and defense is SO pretty. Hell, I'll say it right now that they win the National Championship...screw the Big 10. Dwayne Jarrett dropped a haymaker on Calvin Johnson and ended the debate about who's the best reciever in college football. They're simply fun to watch...so damn pretty. As a matter of fact, the only way to compare the prettiness is...well...look down.
As Dwayne Wayne said in "White Men Can't Jump"..."it's pretty...so pretty."
UCONN +28 at Louisville
Wow could I care less about this game? I would make a pick on Rutgers vs. West Virginia but the bookie I use does't have it set yet. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict a PUSH in this game. That's right...if EITHER team covers the spread I lose. Final is 48-20. Wow...now I'm kind of interested in this game to see if Louisville wins by 28. If I get this pick right, I'm going to proclaim that I'm the Man of the Year. Granted, I've won this award the previous 25 years since I make up the entire selection committee, but still.
Wake Forest +2.5 vs. GA Tech
NERDS!!! I wouldn't bet on this team if they were playing themselves in the ACC Champioship. They can't beat anybody is what I'm getting at. Kudos to Doug for calling out Reggie Ball for what he really is. A no-talent ass clown who, next year, will be telling me "third theatre to your left" after tearing my ticket stub. I bet he gets fired from that job after giving the stub to the wrong person too often.
"To Hell with Georgia. To hell with allergy season for that matter. GLLLAVIN!!"
Arkansas +2.5 vs. Florida
Everyone debates the BCS and how much of a crock it is. I'm one of the few who's fine with the way the system is right now. What I don't understand, and I'm not sure why this topic doesn't get more debate, is why some conferences have a Championship Game and some don't. Another topic that doesn't get much attention...why I don't eat more fruit. Every time I eat fruit it's a taste explosion and I wonder why I don't eat more. Anyone have this problem?
Nebraska +3.5 vs. Oklahoma
The other night I had a dream where my buddy was running for Governor and I was his main campaign person. SOMEBODY apparently didn't agree with our platform because, in my dream, I go to my car and get in but realize that there's someone in my back seat and before I can get out he slits my throat. Literally there's blood everywhere and this dude runs off like he's The Flash. Luckily I wake up before I die but my question is would I rather actually live out that dream or watch this game?
There you have it. Check out Josh's NFL extravaganzzzer for all the Pro knowledge you can handle BROTHA!