Friday, December 15, 2006


The long Mid-Atlantic Regional nightmare may be coming to a close...Cal Ripken may come galloping in on his pearly white steed and snatch control of the Orioles out of the bony, arthritic hands of the vile demon Angelos! Some of my favorite snippets from the story...
"While past discussions between Ripken and Angelos failed to advance, Ripken, according to one source, is now "guardedly optimistic" that a deal eventually could occur"
YES! "Guardedly optimistic"! That's pretty much the same as a done deal, right?!
"The owner is speaking with other potential buyers, a source with knowledge of his discussions said, and in the end might prefer to leave the team to his sons, John and Lou."
NO! Good God NO! The only thing that was keeping me going through these nine straight losing seasons and fourth place finishes was knowing that Angelos was old and one day...well one day we would have a new owner. His sons are even more idiotic than he is...

Which one would YOU rather have run your team? The King of Baseball or Gollum?
"If Ripken were part of an Orioles' ownership group, he likely would want the role of club president — and a return to the franchise's past foundation of scouting and player development."
Scouting?! Player Development?! Hmmm....your plan intrigues me...but I do like Angelos' steadfast adherence to forsaking the minor leagues and focusing entirely on luring washed up veterans well past their prime who might sell tickets the first two weeks of the season and then lead us to at most 64-73 wins, see: Bobby Bonilla, Will Clark, Chris Sabo, Albert Belle, Pat Hentgen, Sammy Sosa, Delino DeShields, Fernando Valenzuela, Jeff Conine (twice), Sid Fernandez, Jimmy Key, Pete Incaviligia, David Segui, Doug Jones.....
"Orioles owner Peter Angelos just might be the most unpopular man in Baltimore. "
Might be?! Unless Osama Bin Laden is hanging out at the Sheraton-Inner Harbor than can go ahead and replace "just might be" with "is".

Oh it would be a day of much rejoicing when/if this announcement is made. I picture myself lying on the grass in Cooperstown, NY on July 29, 2007 watching Cal take his rightful spot among the greats in the Hall of Fame and mid-way through his triumphant induction speech he announces the sale is official and DING DONG the witch is dead! Cal is taking over and the Orioles fans, I amongst them, rip into a cheer that can be heard from space. What a day it will be....


Adam said...

God, NOBODY cares about the Orioles*...

Oh, wait, it's your blogging machine, isn't it?

Carry on.

*Is "Baltimore" even a real city? I'm pretty sure Washington D.C. and Philadelphia vomited towards Delaware and a "city" was born. It even sounds like throw up: "baaaaltimooooorrrghghghgh..."

Stanicek said...

Obviously you've never been to any of the three cities you mentioned...cause if you had you'd realize that Washington is a bastion of power-hungry, materialistic, uppity child molesters that would rather push you into oncoming traffic than look at you...meanwhile Philadelphia is populated with frothing, foaming Northern rednecks, "nrednecks" that spend 23 hours of each day watching "Rocky" and adamantly telling anyone who listens that their city matters because the make a sandwich with meat and melted cheese...and then there is Baltimore, "Charm City" the proverbial "City on a Hill" where the faces are friendly, the streets are made of candy and gold and all seems right with humanity. Ah yes my friend, Baltimore is where dreams come true.

Pasqua said...

Angelos might just be one of the best baseball minds of our time. Here's to the hope that he is the leader of Oriole fans across the land for decades. How dissapointed would you be if your child never got the chance to be an Angelos fan? I love Angelos about as much as I hate Tampa for Bowl games.

Adam said...

"nrednecks", eh?

I like it.

Jmac said...

First off, shame on you for dissing Rocky.

Second, if Ripken buys the team, will he work 2,481 straight days without showering ... or something.