The legend of Gordon "That Guy Who Plays That Outfield Song That I Love As His At the Plate Music - You Know the Song - it's Like, Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Bah - man, Great Song" Beckham grows....
Now - if we can just get him to work on that unwiedly nickname.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Lookout Oscar
Looks like Shooter is going to be a huge hit and there's rumors of Oscar nominations for several categories. Don't take my word, see for yourself. I knew Mark Wahlberg was talented, but wow!!! Como se dice "Opening Night"?
This is a warning to Shrek 3...lookout, your status as the #1 Summer Blockbuster is in trouble.
Triceps. Dirk Diggler. Guns.
What are 3 things that can't make a movie miss?
Help us Bruce Dickinson!
Al Gore testified on Capitol Hill yesterday about the impact and seriousness of global warming. Gore stated:
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"The planet has a fever," Gore said. "If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don't say, 'Well, I read a science fiction novel that told me it's not a problem.' If the crib's on fire, you don't speculate that the baby is flame retardant. You take action."
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The planet has a fever? Well then, as the great Doctor Professor King Poet Laureate Reverend Christopher Walken once said..."the only presecription is more cowbell".
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"The planet has a fever," Gore said. "If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don't say, 'Well, I read a science fiction novel that told me it's not a problem.' If the crib's on fire, you don't speculate that the baby is flame retardant. You take action."
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The planet has a fever? Well then, as the great Doctor Professor King Poet Laureate Reverend Christopher Walken once said..."the only presecription is more cowbell".
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
DJ to the rescue!!!
AWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHH. The only event that will make me a Falcons fan is one step closer to happening. We're one coke bust away from DJ being the starter for the Falcons. Can you imagine tailgating in Athens on a Saturday and then setting up shop the very next day in Atlanta wearing our UGA garb all over again?
roll that ankle. snap that leg. bust a knee. poop your pants. anything to get our boy in!!!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
College Baseball Tidbits
Judging by the underwhelming response we have received from our baseball previews (both MLB and college) it is apparent that no one in the world cares what we think about baseball. But you know what - tough luck - we shall continue to write and you shall continue to not read and the world will spin and spin and spin and spin....
- After UGA baseball got off to a sluggish 0-3 start against Oregon State things turned around somewhat on the strength of our pitching. The club took 2 of 3 from Purdue and was inching towards respectability when...they got swept by USC (the REAL one, not South Cack), and dropped 4 of 5 to Kennesaw State, Western Carolina and Gardner-Webb. THEN - BLAMMO - with 18-3 #20 Auburn coming to town the Dawgs get some clutch hits and continue to throw the snot out of the ball and come out of the weekend with a sweep. We go to Tennessee this weekend for another SEC series. Tennessee has struggled this year to a 13-9 record against less than stellar competition so this is a prime opportunity to score a few more Ws.
- At least South Cack is consistent...seems even the baseball team is not immune to off the field transgressions.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Recruitment Update
Rivals just released their Top 75 in-state players.
Mark my words...UGA is going to have a Top 5, possibly Top 3 class for 2008. So, with that piece of good news, who really cares about the upcoming season? Games are boring...it's the recruiting battles that actually mean something.
Although he gets on my nerves, it's pretty impressive that Bill Simmons kept an entertaining running diary for yesterday's first round games. Must be a hard life to get paid to watch basketball, drink, joke with your buddies and make an "article" about the comments they make. If you sense jealousy, it's because I'm jealous. Jealous as fudge.
Mark my words...UGA is going to have a Top 5, possibly Top 3 class for 2008. So, with that piece of good news, who really cares about the upcoming season? Games are boring...it's the recruiting battles that actually mean something.
Although he gets on my nerves, it's pretty impressive that Bill Simmons kept an entertaining running diary for yesterday's first round games. Must be a hard life to get paid to watch basketball, drink, joke with your buddies and make an "article" about the comments they make. If you sense jealousy, it's because I'm jealous. Jealous as fudge.
Monday, March 12, 2007
NL West like a mutha!!!
Stanicek’s NL West Preview
There were those that said the AL West preview was too long – not snappy enough – too many words – an abundance of letters – and so on. Those people were Pasqua and I because judging from the site meter we are the only ones that read this blog. Quite frankly I am ashamed of all you. But if my Dad taught me one thing it is how to peel and eat an orange while driving....if he taught me two things, it was give the masses what they want....so watch as I toss aside the shackles of wordiness...cast off the burden of length...the oppression of going on and on and on about virtually nothing just to fill up a page and marvel at my own brilliance...yessir, time to cut to the chase, right to the quick, snap to i.....
1) Los Angeles Dodgers
Lineup: LA’s lineup features an eclectic mix of the young and the old, the speedy and “the pace of a Merchant-Ivory film” slow. The top of the order (Furcal and Pierre) could conceivably steal upwards of 2,000 bases IF Juan Pierre can stay healthy and Furcal, sober. Add to that speed the veteran presence of on again, off again steroid abuser Luis Gonzalez, the surly but lovable Jeff Kent and the “Mike Hampton of hitters” in the oft-injured Nomar. Mix with young talent like Wilson Betemit, Andre Ethier, Russell Martin and Jason Repko and you got yourself an interesting little lineup.
Pitching: A strength for the Dodgers and I would definitely say one of the top 5 rotations in MLB. Lowe, Penny, Billingsley and now Schmidt? There hasn’t been this much talent in LA since the last time the cast of “Charles in Charge” had a cast reunion at the Applebee’s on Vine. The bullpen features the return of everyone’s favorite fantasy free-agent pickup, Takashi “Sushi on a Stick” Saito. Say what you will about him, that he has bad breath, that he can’t carry the tune to “Piano Man”...but the kid’s got the goods (100+ Ks in 75 IP).
2) San Diego Padres
Lineup: So much of me wanted to put the Friars at #1. I love that stadium even though it’s so large that if Babe Ruth played there he would have been the “Sultan of Slap Singles”....I like their new third baseman, Kevin Kouzmanoff acquired from the Indians in the Josh Barfield trade – it’s just fun to say Kouzmanoff, sounds like an evil Russian Commander from Red Dawn. But we all know why this team will make a serious run this year....Marcus, Marcus and Marcus. The Braves foolishly got rid of him (despite a valiant effort to trade him to the O’s which would have been better than apple butter on an English Muffin – but Angelos nixed it) and that has turned into the Padres gain. If they just learn not to hit him leadoff you will see ole Marc-e-pie crank out 50 doubles this year and swat about .320.
There were those that said the AL West preview was too long – not snappy enough – too many words – an abundance of letters – and so on. Those people were Pasqua and I because judging from the site meter we are the only ones that read this blog. Quite frankly I am ashamed of all you. But if my Dad taught me one thing it is how to peel and eat an orange while driving....if he taught me two things, it was give the masses what they want....so watch as I toss aside the shackles of wordiness...cast off the burden of length...the oppression of going on and on and on about virtually nothing just to fill up a page and marvel at my own brilliance...yessir, time to cut to the chase, right to the quick, snap to i.....
1) Los Angeles Dodgers
Lineup: LA’s lineup features an eclectic mix of the young and the old, the speedy and “the pace of a Merchant-Ivory film” slow. The top of the order (Furcal and Pierre) could conceivably steal upwards of 2,000 bases IF Juan Pierre can stay healthy and Furcal, sober. Add to that speed the veteran presence of on again, off again steroid abuser Luis Gonzalez, the surly but lovable Jeff Kent and the “Mike Hampton of hitters” in the oft-injured Nomar. Mix with young talent like Wilson Betemit, Andre Ethier, Russell Martin and Jason Repko and you got yourself an interesting little lineup.
Pitching: A strength for the Dodgers and I would definitely say one of the top 5 rotations in MLB. Lowe, Penny, Billingsley and now Schmidt? There hasn’t been this much talent in LA since the last time the cast of “Charles in Charge” had a cast reunion at the Applebee’s on Vine. The bullpen features the return of everyone’s favorite fantasy free-agent pickup, Takashi “Sushi on a Stick” Saito. Say what you will about him, that he has bad breath, that he can’t carry the tune to “Piano Man”...but the kid’s got the goods (100+ Ks in 75 IP).
2) San Diego Padres
Lineup: So much of me wanted to put the Friars at #1. I love that stadium even though it’s so large that if Babe Ruth played there he would have been the “Sultan of Slap Singles”....I like their new third baseman, Kevin Kouzmanoff acquired from the Indians in the Josh Barfield trade – it’s just fun to say Kouzmanoff, sounds like an evil Russian Commander from Red Dawn. But we all know why this team will make a serious run this year....Marcus, Marcus and Marcus. The Braves foolishly got rid of him (despite a valiant effort to trade him to the O’s which would have been better than apple butter on an English Muffin – but Angelos nixed it) and that has turned into the Padres gain. If they just learn not to hit him leadoff you will see ole Marc-e-pie crank out 50 doubles this year and swat about .320.
Admiral Kousmanoff!!! Turn a double play or fire torpedo?
Pitching: Another strong rotation in the NL West headlined by drunken airport arrestee Jake Peavy. Ole Jakey took a step back last year but I think a return form is in order. Following up Jake are two veterans who share absolutely NOTHING in common with each other – Greg Maddux and David Wells. I bet David Wells will give Greg so many atomic wedgies he’ll be split in half by the All-Star Break. Add in Chris Young...funny how the one time Texas actually develops a decent pitcher they trade him away, HA, that’s SO Texas....and Trevor Hoffman and you got yourself a potential Wild Card contender. But NOT the Wild Card.
3) San Francisco Giants
Lineup: Of course I loathe and despise Barry Bonds as much as the next guy and seeing as such, I will not mention his name again, just know he returns to ooze banned substances onto leftfield for the Giants. What is there to say about the Giants except they have mediocre hitting at best supplied by some of the oldest and boringest names in baseball? Randy Winn in right? Rich Aurillia at first? Ray Durham at second? Omar Vizquel at short? Oh God, I’d rather watch deleted scenes from The Prestige than the Giants hit.
Pitching: Here is some actual and interesting talent. The G’ints spent top dollar to land Barry Zito and I imagine he will benefit from making the switch to the National League. I see big things for ole Baked Zito, he is high on my list for potential Cy Youngs. The Giants also have some good young pitchers like Matt Cain and Noah Lowry, so again, another solid staff in the West. Now, about that bullpen...is Armando Benitez REALLY the closer? Ouch. And Steve Kline as setup...oye. Of course after what he said about Baltimore - I wouldn’t support Steve Kline if his nostrils dispensed Cal Ripken jerseys and lumps of imitation crabmeat.
4) Arizona Diamondbacks
Lineup: I would give anyone a shiny Idaho State Quarter if they could give me 5 of the 8 starting position players for the D-Backs off the top of their head. The March 10th depth chart reveals: C – Chris Snyder, 1B – Conor Jackson, 2B – Orlando Hudson, SS- Stephen Drew, 3B – Chad Tracy, LF – Eric Byrnes, CF – Chris B. Young, RF - Carlos Quentin. Try that little game at your next cocktail party or anonymous masked orgy.
Pitching: The D-Backs do have a solid ro-ro. Webb, Big Unit, Livan, Doug Davis...a good righty, lefty mix and continues the trend of solid NL West staffs. Then you look to the ole bullpen and see Jose “6.00 ERA” Valverde out there and now you know why they won’t climb any higher than 4th.
5) Colorado Rockies
In the interest of brevity and due to the fact that I am about to be late for a plane I will confine my analysis of the Rockies to this....they are relying on two former Oriole Lopezes in CRITICAL starting roles – Rodrigo as the #3 starter and Javy as starting catcher....read that line again, go ahead. Got it? That’s why they’ll be in last place.
Pasqua's NL West PreviewPrediction:
1.) Dodgers
2.) Padres
3.) Giants
4.) Diamondbacks
5.) Rockies
Who's going to be able to predict this division after Barry Bonds is poisoned with synotx nerve gas before opening day and is forced to miss the season? Or maybe just deported back to Hell. Putting the Giants at # 3 is wishful thinking. It's realistically where they'd finish if Bonds was shockingly harpooned by a McCovey Cove fisherman. Reviewing the NL West, it's clear that the Dodgers are stacked and have done well for themselves in the offseason. The Wild Card will make it's to the NL Central or East. This division will continue to suck and nobody will care about the teams other than the Giants...and I'll go to bed every night praying that I awake to the news of Barry's sudden collapse after eating some bad oysters.
getting harpooned. Now THAT'S a way to die.
1. Dodgers
Hitting: Assuming Nomar can play 120 or more games, this team will rake. They added Pierre in center field and have Pepe Lepeau-like speed at the top of the order with him and Furcal. Wait, Pepe was fast, right? The name "Pepe" sure does sound fast so let's go with it. Every Braves fan will grimmace once Chipper tears a muscle and Betemit proves to be one of the better 3B in the National league. If Jeff Kent can play more games this year (I'm convinced that his main objective is to get to the Hall of Fame) than he did in '06 then LA is looking better than the previews of "Norbit 2: Let's offend Indians this time".
Defense: This is probably the best starting pitching staff in the National League (Phillies are a close 2nd). The reason I side with the Dodgers staff is because of the defense behind them and the offenses they'll be facing, which are, offensive (har-har!!!). The bullpen isn't anything special, but when I take a closer look...who is it I see hiding in middle relief? Y ou guessed it...Brett Tomko! I love this guy. He's been on my fantasy team 1,639 times and I've only been playing for 5 years. I want to drop and add him right now just thinking about it.
2. Padres
Hitting: Like I said, this is probably wishful thinking since their offense is bland. They made a huge mistake picking up Marcus Giles and I say that for 2 reasons. 1. I hate Giles with a fire-like passion. 2. The ONE thing that should've been learned by watching that cross eyed loser last year is that HE CAN'T HIT LEADOFF. And what do the Padres think they're going to do with Giles? Hit him leadoff unless Terrmel Sledge can pick up the slack. So, basically, Giles is hitting leadoff. 2 wrongs don't make a right and 2 Giles' don't make runs.
Defense: Real nice staff and it's clear that Maddux has some left in the tank so I thought he was a good pickup. He'll also help Peavy return to being one of the game's best...Jake's a steal in this year's fantasy draft. Chris Young is a nice pitcher...we'll just see how the Pads do when Wells goes onto the DL. Hoffman, like Jeff Kent, will continue to perform because he sees the Hall of Fame light at the end of the tunnel and I really like Linebrink to step in if Hoffman gets arthritis or misses a few weeks for the birth of his grandchild.
3. Giants
Hitting: When Barry gets attacked by an ex-Navy Seal dressed as a hobo outside AT&T Park, who's going to take over the 3 hole in the lineup? I smell Klesko (yes, he's on this team). There's a chance this could be a good offense, but it's just as likely that they all throw their backs out. I like the move to get Dave Roberts at the top of the lineup since he's got a lot of speed and he's over 40. Seriously, how can this team get any older? I want to take my Grandpa to Turner Field when the Giants are in town. He'd be like Moonlight Graham as he points out all the players he dreamed of playing with. "Hey, that's Omar Vizquel. Holy gee, that's Ray Durham and Randy Winn. And over there, is that...is that Rich Aurilia? Mark Sweeney!!!"
Defense: Good point by Stanicek about how A's pitchers take a crap on their next team after they leave Oakland. Hopefully the same will happen for Zito since he's a sissy. After Zito, I don't see a reliable pitcher on their staff unless Matt "Sugar" Cain (I bet you thought I was going to go "Candy" Cain) continues to improve. Their bullpen is boring too, let's move on.
4. Diamondbacks
Hitting: This is a fiesty young team that will surprise people. I really like Eric Byrnes since he played on my team last year and he looks like a hungover frat boy. Carlos Quentin was good times last year too. All the infielders are younger than me except Hudson so the D-Backs are the anti-Giants. You know I'm going to give Scott Hairston a shout out. I taught him everything he knows about playing second base (of course he plays outfield now, but I actually was a sophomore when he was a freshman at Naperville North and was in charge of "teaching him"). Looking at Chris Snyder's picture, he's got the same look as Byrnes and I'm starting to think that this might be an intramural softball team who's main objective are the Coldweisers after the game.
All he needs are some short shorts, a croakie for his sunglasses and a "Byrnes loves ZTA sticker"
Defense: What's the over/under on number of games Livan Hernandez and Randy Johnson will be on the DL? If and when both of these guys go down, the D-Rays are in trouble since I don't think Brandon Webb is going to sneak up on teams like he did last year.
5. Rockies
Hitting: The starting shortstop, according to mlb.com, is Tulowitzki. That can't be good. Houston's had the "Killer B's", Colorado has the "What the H's" I guess. Hawpe, Holliday, and Helton, plus the surprising Garrett Atkins. Not a bad group of sticks to compliment their best weapon...Coors Field.
Defense: The best strategy for this pitching staff is hoping that opposing teams meet up with Jenn from the Real World Denver and she keeps them up all night with her rock star ways. What I mean is that she'll sleep with the visiting team. It's a race to the finish between the Rockies and Nationals to see who has the worst pitching staff in baseball. The only thing that'll keep the Rockies from winning that dubious honor is the wicked Brian "Daisy" Fuentes. He's got wicked stuff...kinda like Stanicek after a cheesy chicken.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Slugging AND singing his way into your heart...
Ben Broussard, aka "Paul Sorrento for the new millenium", has put out an album. If we can get him together with Bronson Arroyo and Bernie Williams...well look out Beatles!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Baseball Preview Part II: AL West Preview
Sorry for the delay...Part II ushers in the beginning of our divisional previews in which each of us make our predictions for the final standings in each MLB division with a brief run down of why said pick was made...without further adieu, the AL WEST:
Defense: Another year for Ervin Santana who continues to improve every year. Lackey, Escobar, and Weaver will be solid and don’t forget about Bartolo Colon who’s slated to return in April from injury. Guy was the 2005 Cy Young for pity’s sake. They still have the best closer in the division with K-Rod (I’m not sold on Gagne in Texas) and a great setup man in Scot “Deflector” Shields.
2. Athletics
Hitting: I know this team is going to find ways to keep the division close, but their hitting is weak…WEAK I SAY. Piazza isn’t going to put up the numbers Frank Thomas did last year at DH, Kendall will continue to hit 3 HRs/year, Chavez will continue to be overrated, and they have Mark Ellis slated to start at second. The outfield of Swisher, Kotsay, and Milton Bradley scares me about as much as a poodle drowning in milk. This team’s going to have to rely on their pitching to get the job done…
Defense: They’ll still be one of the best defenses in the field, good thing since the pitching staff has only gotten worse since ’06 with the departure of Zito. Even though I hated him, his numbers didn’t lie. A lot depends on Rich Harden (I won’t go there with the obvious nickname) and if he can live up to his potential…personally I think he’s the next Mark Prior. Danny Haren is solid and the A’s always have a starter step up. Plus, their bullpen will keep them in games.
3. Mariners
Hitting: I like this team and they made some moves in the off-season. While I disagree with Vidro as a DH since he’s an average hitter at best, I love the addition of Jose Guillen. The big question is the corners, Beltre and Sexson. Seattle has relied on these yutzes and they’ve both produced like REM since signing that huge contract with Warner Brothers. I do like Ichiro (doy), Lopez at second, and Johjima proved he has the sand to play in the bigs. The offense has a high ceiling and a medium basement because they’ll do damage with Ichiro, Guillen, and Lopez even if Beltre and Sexon continue to be a couple of blowhards.
Defense: OK, you know you’re in trouble when the bullpen adds Chris Reitsma. Putz was actually great last year and will probably be a closer that gets overpaid in an upcoming off-season’s (I’m still peeved that Stanicek grabbed this guy in our fantasy league 5 minutes before I did). King Felix will improve and the addition of Jarrod Washbun as their #2 adds the stability that only an 8-14 pitcher can (gyyyyyosh). A lot will depend on Horatio Ramirez getting healthy and if Miguel Batista can get back to his Cy-Young contending ways. Man, this pitching staff wreaks.
4. Rangers
Hitting: One word. Sosa. As Guster says, the guy’s a one-man wrecking machine. Back to reality…Teixeira has to improve from ’06, right? You know what you’re getting out of Michael Young. Another stellar outfield of Brad Wilkerson, Kenny Lofton, N. Cruz (I had no clue who this guy was, had to click on his name, and found out it was Nelson. Needless to say, I was disappointed in Nelson being his first name. I was hoping of something more along the lines of Niagra or Narthul). Texas used to try and out-score everyone…now I’m not convinced they can even do that. Gonna be another long year.
Defense: One word. Koronka. Actually, he’s not horrible for a 5th starter. The problem is having Vicente Padilla as the #2 and Brandon McCarthy (who’s still 2 years away from being reliable) as your #3. Back that up with a questionable bullpen, and you’ve got the making of a horrific season.
STANICEK' S AL WEST PREVIEW
Prediction:
1) Angels
2) Athletics
3) Rangers
4) Mariners
It t’aint no secret that baseball is my love, my passion, the cat’s pajamas, the creamy middle in the chocolate cocoon of a Cadbury egg, the reason to wake up in the morning, and so on and so forth. But even baseball can’t warm the cockles of my heart to sports on the West Coast. I am an unabashed supporter of West Coast bias....a liberal and civil rights supporter in every other respect...I support the internment of all West Coast sporting squads and the deportation of its owners and managers. I can’t fully explain it – I suppose it has something to do with the fact that they REFUSE to play their games at a decent hour...come on, 10:30? Who wants to watch a game at 10:30? Maybe it’s the fact that all the celebrities refuse to watch anything but Laker basketball...LAKER basketball?! The only more boring than a West Coast sporting event is an NBA West Coast sporting event. To me events like the 2002 World Series didn’t even exist – once the Championship games were over I tuned out and in a regrettable moment of impulse became a fan of Scottish sheep-dog herding for a week...Go Spaniels! However, my unbridled hate for all things sports on the Wrong Coast will not stop me from providing you with a thorough and entertaining preview of the AL and NL West divisions...so without further adieu...
1) Anaheim Los Angeles California Angels of Greater Orange County:
The division begins and pretty much ends here – Billy Beane be damned. The Angels have a good blend of established veterans and up and coming younger type rookie guys.
Lineup: One must question the multi-contract given to HGH-filled, one year wonder Gary Matthews, Jr. My hatred of Matthews of course stems from the fact that the O’s poured their heart and soul into that guy and only received a handful of bunt singles and a steroid probe in return. But still – one year does not a career make and relying on this guy is like relying on Michael Hammond to plan ahead and bring beer to an informal get together. But all is not lost with the Angels – they still have Vlad, whom my esteemed colleague seems to think had a Podsednik-esque year but in fact turned in a season almost exactly on par with past years. I will note that his numbers did trend down somewhat and that could be a concern...Vlad may be on his way out and may not crank 40+ again...but fear not Angel fans I think there’s juice left in that funky swing yet. And yes I do realize that the chances of an actual Angels fan reading this are equal to or less than the chances of LOST introducing its new character Skippy, the lovable rapscallion that always seems to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, this season.
Pitching: This is a big time strength for the ‘gels (as no one calls them). At some point over the past three years John Lackey went from fringe fantasy starter that was picked up and dropped more in fantasy leagues than a dollar bill smeared with melted chocolate on the down-facing side...to bona fide solid stud. Youngsters Santana and Weaver look to get even better...though Weaver seems like a Tommy John blowout waiting to happen, why? No idea...just watch. Follow those kids up with journeyman Kelvim Escobar and 458 pound former Cy Young winner Bartolo Colon (once he recovers from injury) and you got yourself a staff. Closing things out is one in a long line of unfortunate nicknames spawned in the aftermath of Alex Rodriguez....K-Rod...one of the best in the game. Add everything up and if the Angels don’t win this division I will light my Entertainment Weekly Issue #345 featuring the cast of Everybody Loves Raymond on the cover...on fire.
2) Oakland A’s
Alright so I went waaaay too long on my Angels preview so from here on out we cut the fat and get to the skinny...
Lineup: Pitching and Hitting, this is a Billy Beane team through and through. Who are these guys? How are they going to score more than a run a game? Can Jason Kendall look more like a serial killer? But you know what? They are going to be good...just not wild card good...because they always are. I do think that Piazza is going to have a strong year, maybe not quite on the Frank Thomas level – but good – he’s out of that national park of a stadium in San Diego and he doesn’t have to catch anymore, I’m thinking .300, 25 HR, 100RBI.
Pitching: Zito, Mulder, and Hudson have moved on to suck royally in other places. Seriously, what happened to those bums (I realize that Zito hasn’t started to suck yet, but he will, especially now that he’s fraternizing with Bonds)? A new crop of bright-eyed youngsters have grabbed the torch of “Rock the AL West for three years, hit free agency, sell my soul to Beelzebub and Scott Boras and then tank the rest of my career while getting tore the F up by the major market medias”. Still the rotation is solid with Harden (who every analyst says pitches like Jesus would if he could stay healthy...Harden that is, not Jesus), Haren and Blanton. Huston Street returns to close out games and take the fun name to call out at fantasy drafts title.
3) Texas Rangers
Lineup: Call me crazy but this is the team that I think could make a run at some big things this year. The lineup is more schizophrenic than the guy on the street in front of the newsstand that spends the day laughing at his juice box...but still, if Tex finds the power, Kinsler continues to develop and Blalock finds his stroke – they will score runs. And oh...I haven’t even gotten to Sammy....the kid is raking, RAKING in Spring Training. And it would be JUST like the Gods of baseball to have me suffer through Sammy’s season in Baltimore bringing plagues of locusts, steroid probes, and boiling seas of blood, only to return and win Comeback Player of the Year with Texas. So mark it down – Sammy = Comeback Player of the Year.
Pitching: Always a sore spot with the Rangers (“the Rockies of the AL” is what my gun-toting, semi-crazed, one armed Vietnam veteran neighbor in Augusta used to call them)...but they bring in Gagne to close things out, steal Brandon McCarthy away from the White Sox (another causality of Ozzie Guillen’s “berate them on national television for missing the corner of the plate once and then disparage them with homophobic slurs” style of managing) to add to solid starters Millwood and Padilla and I think they might have enough to contend in this “creamsicle on an August day in Savannah”-soft division
4) Seattle Mariners
Lineup: Oye. This is a train wreck of a team, so let’s spend no time on them....the lineup is weak, and then they invest in Jose “I’m a .280, 5 HR DH” Vidro. The M’s show little to no signs of any dynamic improvement over last year in which they ranked second to last in the American League in runs scored (beating only the D-Rays).
Pitching: Again, a team that was middle of the pack in team ERA last year turns to Jeff Weaver, Horacio Ramirez and Miguel Batista to save them? (I should note that Pasqua whiffed in saying Washburn was an addition, he was in Seattle last year...no wonder he lost in fantasy baseball) AND they are relying on a 20 year old with a 4.50 ERA as their staff ace? AND their closer is...alright I straight up worship their closer, JJ Putz struck out 104 in 78 innings last year, walked only 13 and scored 36 saves with a 2.30. The guy had a terrific year. Overall though – Mariners are on a one way train to Last-ville.
PASQUA'S AL WEST PREVIEW
Prediction:
1. Angels
2. Athletics
3. Mariners
4. Rangers
My guess is that the Angels will represent the West in the playoffs and there won’t be a Wild Card coming out of this division. When you do a breakdown of the teams, this is the easiest division in the AL, and possibly all of baseball, to predict,.
1. Angels
Hitting: Bill Simmons’ man crush, Howie Kendrick…and the #1 rated “Guy who sounds like he played in the 1910s” just by his name…”and another hum digger from Howie Kendrick. Golly, he’s hotter than a kettle of coals. Someone tell Pulitzer and Hurst we think they got em, do they got em…NO!!!” (sorry, that ran a little long and I inserted a “Newsies” lyric that really didn’t flow, but “not flowing” is how I write, phew, is in the bigs for a full year in ’07 and will solidify an already stout hitting lineup. Vlad’s coming off one of his worst years and will undoubtedly improve. The addition of Gary Matthews will pay dividends on defense, which is all they can expect since there’s no way that he’ll duplicate his roid-enhanced ‘06 numbers (I can’t wait to see him go 3 rounds too early in the upcoming fantasy draft). Chone Figgins is one of the most versatile weapons in baseball AND has one of the most confusing names.
1. Angels
2. Athletics
3. Mariners
4. Rangers
My guess is that the Angels will represent the West in the playoffs and there won’t be a Wild Card coming out of this division. When you do a breakdown of the teams, this is the easiest division in the AL, and possibly all of baseball, to predict,.
1. Angels
Hitting: Bill Simmons’ man crush, Howie Kendrick…and the #1 rated “Guy who sounds like he played in the 1910s” just by his name…”and another hum digger from Howie Kendrick. Golly, he’s hotter than a kettle of coals. Someone tell Pulitzer and Hurst we think they got em, do they got em…NO!!!” (sorry, that ran a little long and I inserted a “Newsies” lyric that really didn’t flow, but “not flowing” is how I write, phew, is in the bigs for a full year in ’07 and will solidify an already stout hitting lineup. Vlad’s coming off one of his worst years and will undoubtedly improve. The addition of Gary Matthews will pay dividends on defense, which is all they can expect since there’s no way that he’ll duplicate his roid-enhanced ‘06 numbers (I can’t wait to see him go 3 rounds too early in the upcoming fantasy draft). Chone Figgins is one of the most versatile weapons in baseball AND has one of the most confusing names.
1992's winner of the "Flamboylantly FABULOUS Movie Poster of the Year" award
Defense: Another year for Ervin Santana who continues to improve every year. Lackey, Escobar, and Weaver will be solid and don’t forget about Bartolo Colon who’s slated to return in April from injury. Guy was the 2005 Cy Young for pity’s sake. They still have the best closer in the division with K-Rod (I’m not sold on Gagne in Texas) and a great setup man in Scot “Deflector” Shields.
2. Athletics
Hitting: I know this team is going to find ways to keep the division close, but their hitting is weak…WEAK I SAY. Piazza isn’t going to put up the numbers Frank Thomas did last year at DH, Kendall will continue to hit 3 HRs/year, Chavez will continue to be overrated, and they have Mark Ellis slated to start at second. The outfield of Swisher, Kotsay, and Milton Bradley scares me about as much as a poodle drowning in milk. This team’s going to have to rely on their pitching to get the job done…
Defense: They’ll still be one of the best defenses in the field, good thing since the pitching staff has only gotten worse since ’06 with the departure of Zito. Even though I hated him, his numbers didn’t lie. A lot depends on Rich Harden (I won’t go there with the obvious nickname) and if he can live up to his potential…personally I think he’s the next Mark Prior. Danny Haren is solid and the A’s always have a starter step up. Plus, their bullpen will keep them in games.
3. Mariners
Hitting: I like this team and they made some moves in the off-season. While I disagree with Vidro as a DH since he’s an average hitter at best, I love the addition of Jose Guillen. The big question is the corners, Beltre and Sexson. Seattle has relied on these yutzes and they’ve both produced like REM since signing that huge contract with Warner Brothers. I do like Ichiro (doy), Lopez at second, and Johjima proved he has the sand to play in the bigs. The offense has a high ceiling and a medium basement because they’ll do damage with Ichiro, Guillen, and Lopez even if Beltre and Sexon continue to be a couple of blowhards.
All kidding aside, Stanicek is right, the boys of REM are rock legends and congrats on their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this Monday night in NY.
Defense: OK, you know you’re in trouble when the bullpen adds Chris Reitsma. Putz was actually great last year and will probably be a closer that gets overpaid in an upcoming off-season’s (I’m still peeved that Stanicek grabbed this guy in our fantasy league 5 minutes before I did). King Felix will improve and the addition of Jarrod Washbun as their #2 adds the stability that only an 8-14 pitcher can (gyyyyyosh). A lot will depend on Horatio Ramirez getting healthy and if Miguel Batista can get back to his Cy-Young contending ways. Man, this pitching staff wreaks.
4. Rangers
Hitting: One word. Sosa. As Guster says, the guy’s a one-man wrecking machine. Back to reality…Teixeira has to improve from ’06, right? You know what you’re getting out of Michael Young. Another stellar outfield of Brad Wilkerson, Kenny Lofton, N. Cruz (I had no clue who this guy was, had to click on his name, and found out it was Nelson. Needless to say, I was disappointed in Nelson being his first name. I was hoping of something more along the lines of Niagra or Narthul). Texas used to try and out-score everyone…now I’m not convinced they can even do that. Gonna be another long year.
Steroid pain can hit you like a blow to the head
Defense: One word. Koronka. Actually, he’s not horrible for a 5th starter. The problem is having Vicente Padilla as the #2 and Brandon McCarthy (who’s still 2 years away from being reliable) as your #3. Back that up with a questionable bullpen, and you’ve got the making of a horrific season.
STANICEK' S AL WEST PREVIEW
Prediction:
1) Angels
2) Athletics
3) Rangers
4) Mariners
It t’aint no secret that baseball is my love, my passion, the cat’s pajamas, the creamy middle in the chocolate cocoon of a Cadbury egg, the reason to wake up in the morning, and so on and so forth. But even baseball can’t warm the cockles of my heart to sports on the West Coast. I am an unabashed supporter of West Coast bias....a liberal and civil rights supporter in every other respect...I support the internment of all West Coast sporting squads and the deportation of its owners and managers. I can’t fully explain it – I suppose it has something to do with the fact that they REFUSE to play their games at a decent hour...come on, 10:30? Who wants to watch a game at 10:30? Maybe it’s the fact that all the celebrities refuse to watch anything but Laker basketball...LAKER basketball?! The only more boring than a West Coast sporting event is an NBA West Coast sporting event. To me events like the 2002 World Series didn’t even exist – once the Championship games were over I tuned out and in a regrettable moment of impulse became a fan of Scottish sheep-dog herding for a week...Go Spaniels! However, my unbridled hate for all things sports on the Wrong Coast will not stop me from providing you with a thorough and entertaining preview of the AL and NL West divisions...so without further adieu...
Now THAT'S herd-tertainment!
1) Anaheim Los Angeles California Angels of Greater Orange County:
The division begins and pretty much ends here – Billy Beane be damned. The Angels have a good blend of established veterans and up and coming younger type rookie guys.
Lineup: One must question the multi-contract given to HGH-filled, one year wonder Gary Matthews, Jr. My hatred of Matthews of course stems from the fact that the O’s poured their heart and soul into that guy and only received a handful of bunt singles and a steroid probe in return. But still – one year does not a career make and relying on this guy is like relying on Michael Hammond to plan ahead and bring beer to an informal get together. But all is not lost with the Angels – they still have Vlad, whom my esteemed colleague seems to think had a Podsednik-esque year but in fact turned in a season almost exactly on par with past years. I will note that his numbers did trend down somewhat and that could be a concern...Vlad may be on his way out and may not crank 40+ again...but fear not Angel fans I think there’s juice left in that funky swing yet. And yes I do realize that the chances of an actual Angels fan reading this are equal to or less than the chances of LOST introducing its new character Skippy, the lovable rapscallion that always seems to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, this season.
Pitching: This is a big time strength for the ‘gels (as no one calls them). At some point over the past three years John Lackey went from fringe fantasy starter that was picked up and dropped more in fantasy leagues than a dollar bill smeared with melted chocolate on the down-facing side...to bona fide solid stud. Youngsters Santana and Weaver look to get even better...though Weaver seems like a Tommy John blowout waiting to happen, why? No idea...just watch. Follow those kids up with journeyman Kelvim Escobar and 458 pound former Cy Young winner Bartolo Colon (once he recovers from injury) and you got yourself a staff. Closing things out is one in a long line of unfortunate nicknames spawned in the aftermath of Alex Rodriguez....K-Rod...one of the best in the game. Add everything up and if the Angels don’t win this division I will light my Entertainment Weekly Issue #345 featuring the cast of Everybody Loves Raymond on the cover...on fire.
2) Oakland A’s
Alright so I went waaaay too long on my Angels preview so from here on out we cut the fat and get to the skinny...
Lineup: Pitching and Hitting, this is a Billy Beane team through and through. Who are these guys? How are they going to score more than a run a game? Can Jason Kendall look more like a serial killer? But you know what? They are going to be good...just not wild card good...because they always are. I do think that Piazza is going to have a strong year, maybe not quite on the Frank Thomas level – but good – he’s out of that national park of a stadium in San Diego and he doesn’t have to catch anymore, I’m thinking .300, 25 HR, 100RBI.
Pitching: Zito, Mulder, and Hudson have moved on to suck royally in other places. Seriously, what happened to those bums (I realize that Zito hasn’t started to suck yet, but he will, especially now that he’s fraternizing with Bonds)? A new crop of bright-eyed youngsters have grabbed the torch of “Rock the AL West for three years, hit free agency, sell my soul to Beelzebub and Scott Boras and then tank the rest of my career while getting tore the F up by the major market medias”. Still the rotation is solid with Harden (who every analyst says pitches like Jesus would if he could stay healthy...Harden that is, not Jesus), Haren and Blanton. Huston Street returns to close out games and take the fun name to call out at fantasy drafts title.
3) Texas Rangers
Lineup: Call me crazy but this is the team that I think could make a run at some big things this year. The lineup is more schizophrenic than the guy on the street in front of the newsstand that spends the day laughing at his juice box...but still, if Tex finds the power, Kinsler continues to develop and Blalock finds his stroke – they will score runs. And oh...I haven’t even gotten to Sammy....the kid is raking, RAKING in Spring Training. And it would be JUST like the Gods of baseball to have me suffer through Sammy’s season in Baltimore bringing plagues of locusts, steroid probes, and boiling seas of blood, only to return and win Comeback Player of the Year with Texas. So mark it down – Sammy = Comeback Player of the Year.
Pitching: Always a sore spot with the Rangers (“the Rockies of the AL” is what my gun-toting, semi-crazed, one armed Vietnam veteran neighbor in Augusta used to call them)...but they bring in Gagne to close things out, steal Brandon McCarthy away from the White Sox (another causality of Ozzie Guillen’s “berate them on national television for missing the corner of the plate once and then disparage them with homophobic slurs” style of managing) to add to solid starters Millwood and Padilla and I think they might have enough to contend in this “creamsicle on an August day in Savannah”-soft division
Move over Jason Kendall...Padilla is the newest serial killer on the block. I won't sleep tonight
4) Seattle Mariners
Lineup: Oye. This is a train wreck of a team, so let’s spend no time on them....the lineup is weak, and then they invest in Jose “I’m a .280, 5 HR DH” Vidro. The M’s show little to no signs of any dynamic improvement over last year in which they ranked second to last in the American League in runs scored (beating only the D-Rays).
Pitching: Again, a team that was middle of the pack in team ERA last year turns to Jeff Weaver, Horacio Ramirez and Miguel Batista to save them? (I should note that Pasqua whiffed in saying Washburn was an addition, he was in Seattle last year...no wonder he lost in fantasy baseball) AND they are relying on a 20 year old with a 4.50 ERA as their staff ace? AND their closer is...alright I straight up worship their closer, JJ Putz struck out 104 in 78 innings last year, walked only 13 and scored 36 saves with a 2.30. The guy had a terrific year. Overall though – Mariners are on a one way train to Last-ville.
Friday, March 02, 2007
1 post for the week
Painful checking this blog every day and not seeing a new post, eh? Makes you take for granted how good you had it when Stanicek and I were in a blogging groove and ripped out a new post everday ala J-Mac.
Fear not, my friends. In the upcoming weeks we'll be posting our long awaited baseball preview, of which we've been getting daily emails from readers wondering where the hell these baseball nuggets of genius are. In due time.
Meanwhile, I thought this was a fun article that followed up on the most ridiculous youtube moment in the website's history. Enjoy...
Fear not, my friends. In the upcoming weeks we'll be posting our long awaited baseball preview, of which we've been getting daily emails from readers wondering where the hell these baseball nuggets of genius are. In due time.
Meanwhile, I thought this was a fun article that followed up on the most ridiculous youtube moment in the website's history. Enjoy...
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