Predictions....

So the Pennant Race is HEATING UP! Who would have thunk it would be this good a few weeks ago. So quickly here's how it will shakedown, methinks:

AL East
1) Yankees
WC) Red Sox

-Of course this is the fan in me - I am praying ever dang night that the Red Sox lose this division...why? Because I hate the Red Sox and yes I know it will cause more whining Red Sox fans to pipe up and say they are cursed again but you know what, I'm fine with that as long as they are all in agony and know that I am laughing at them. I'll deal with their incessant whining when all of us are sitting at home watching the World Series together.

AL Central
1) Indians

-A no brainer. Tigers are kaput.

AL West
1) Angels

-Ditto.

NL East
1) Mets

- As bad as it looked yesterday at this time - a win last night and a loss by the Phils went MILES towards getting them the division crown. Now they're up 2 1/2 with 10 to play - they'll win enough to get the job done and the Phils are goin' home.

NL Central
1) Cubs

- I would love, LOVE for the Brewers to win this...it's my attachment to hard-luck franchises I guess...but now that Sheets is gimpy there is no way even Prince Fielder can carry a team throwing Suppan, Bush, Capuano, Vargas, Gallardo (even though he's been pretty dang good) and whoever else they find in the scrap heap. Unbelievably...it's the pitching of Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis that pull the Cubs through.

NL West
1) Padres
WC) D-Backs

- Padres are ONNN FIRE! Hell, even Bret Tomko is pitching well for them...BRET TOMKO! And if you've played fantasy baseball and been seduced by the Tomko siren song - you know how astounding that is. The young, upstart D-backs fade.

Believe me...

To be an O's fan is the worst...OK, maybe they are in the same boat as the Pirates, Royals, D-Rays, et al...but definitely worse than the Red Sox, Mariners, Yankees, Braves, etc.

Pasqua sends along this killer article highlighting the issue - you be the judge.

Podcast #3...Now carbon neutral!!

Here it is...the "Remember to stop eating meat" Podcast. Enjoy!

Eat less meat - save the world...

I'm sold. I already eat at the Grit once a week....so I will only meat when called for at UGA tailgates as feast upon the mascots of our soon to be vanquished foes.

And in no way did I post this just to make some of those that I tailgate with angry.

Remember to recycle!

So true....

This is an interesting, if a little obvious, story.

Sure there were money issues but Scheurholz always seems to make things works when he wants to make them work and he just didn't seem to want to go the distance to make sure Tommy stayed around to finish his career with the Braves. The thing was - Glavine wasn't asking for a ridiculous salary when free agency rolled around a few years ago - less than what Smoltz had already signed for....but the Braves backed down, the Mets took over, and the pennants stopped being hung at Turner. Definitely one of the few huge mistakes Scheurholz has made during his tenure in Atlanta.

Podcast and such...

Here's the new podcast...ruminations on Red Dawn, Robocop and some shocking secrets about Tent City residents!

Athens Local Commercials...Learn 'em, Love 'em...

Thanks to Athens World for spurring this little post....I have to hand it to the local merchants here in town...they put out some freaky little commercials. From the hilarious to the hilariously awful, my heart always leaps with excitement when I sense one of these bad boys coming on. Sadly, many of the best have not been posted on the YouTube, but below I've assembled all that I could find. If only the, I'm sure, techno-savvy folks at Alewine Salvage and Wrecking would post their "Junk Monkey" spot...change...your...life...with a twist ending that not even Shyamalan could have seen coming.

[One more notable omission - the junkie ad for Musician's warehouse ("he got hooked on the savings...my son's a discount junkie!!") - I love the acting in that spot - ten times more convincing than anything Josh Hartnett has done]

1) Music Exchange - this is the new spot, unfortunately the old spot with the cartoon band playing the ad out has been dispensed with...fortunately the timeless jingle remains.



2) Uncle Otto's (Formerly Achim's K-Bob) - Classic song, classic style. I dare you to get this jingle out of your head.



3) Vision Video - good quality - stirring narrative - happy ending - I'm not ashamed to admit I cried for several hours after this was through.



4) Club Oasis - have to admit I have never seen this ad nor heard of the establishment but good lord...did you see the cash that kid is flashing? AND it's named after a favorite band of mine (it is named in loving tribute of the Brothers Gallagher correct?)!



5) Krystal - doesn't technically count as a local commercial but still - you have to respect Krystal going for the not-at-all subtle lesbian crack at the opening. And as an interesting sidebar - I was asked to be in one of these commercials during filming last year and flat-out rejected those SOBs because I can't think of many things more repellent than the menu offerings at Krystal.



And finally....



An REM video - just because it was lumped in with all the other Athens commercials when I did the search and when presented with a kickass REM video you always got to play it.

Maaaybeee...I'll give Bill Simmons another chance...

Nah. Not after his senseless, pointless, ridiculous column about Cal Ripken. But still...I suspended my lifetime ban of all things Simmons-related after spotting "Red Sox" and "bandwagon" in the headlines of one of articles...too perfect to pass up and maybe he admits, as I've been claiming for the past 5 years (even BEFORE 2004...it was only a matter of time before the Red Sox won a World Series) that it was pointless for Red Sox fans to hate the Yankees because they ARE the Yankees...and lo and behold, he did not dissapoint:

"...we've kinda sorta maybe turned into the Yankees. Like them, we spend more money than everyone else. Like them, we make expensive roster mistakes (Drew, Lugo, Matt Clement, Edgar Rentería, et al.) without any repercussions. Like them, we're detested by opposing fans because we invade their stadiums and taunt their teams. And like them, we're sucking in all the soulless bandwagon kids who pick their favorite teams in first grade based on winning percentages and superstars."

Ahhh...sweet vindication. The mouthpiece of the Red Sox nation freely admits they are the Yankees. I am at peace once more.

Now you'll excuse me if I go see how the Orioles will humiliate themselves today...I don't know maybe B-Rob, Tejada, Millar, Hernandez and Mora all collide on a pop-up knocking them all unconcious forcing Garrett Olson, Brian Burres, or whatever other horrific starter they have throwing tonight to chase the runner all the way around the bases in Keystone Cop fashion ultimately resulting in baseball's first infield inside the park homerun.

Amen brutha.....

"I do think that in the state of Alabama," says Crimson Tide diehard and "Forest Gump" author Winston Groom, "anybody planning a wedding is gonna get out a schedule, because the worst damn thing you can do is have your wedding on the Alabama-Auburn game or the Tennessee game, because nobody will come to your wedding. They had one here like that, but they put up a big old huge TV at the place where they had the reception. One of those big giant things, about eight feet tall."
He laughs.
Don't plan your wedding during the Auburn-Alabama game: These folks have a previous engagement.
"As a matter of fact, in the state of Alabama, I wouldn't even plan a funeral when Alabama is playing Auburn," he says. "You can die, but you're gonna wait 'til Monday."

Welcome to my home state....

Maryland - Where we eat imported caviar off the backs of our hired help, drink the extracted tears of Buddhist monks at tailgates and use buffalo nickels for skeet shooting....ahhh...what a state.

Greatest...column....ever....

Jim Caple...you are my hero...if only they made posters of you because one would surely be now hanging over my bed.

He's back...

The AJC kills two birds with one stone with this picture by 1) pumping up the UGA fanbase by re-publishing Pasqua and our tailgate on the front page of its website and 2) offers police a great lead and a potential suspect in that serial molester case (look under "More Headlines").

Tent City can't BUY publicity like this....THIS IS TERRIFIC! So please take note, if you don't like Papparazzi or the constant "pop" of flash bulbs, or parties crammed full of A-list celebrities you may want to avoid our tailgate this season. On second thought, if we don't know you don't even bother stopping by...we are the Studio 54 of tailgates and you're just too dang fat.

And you thought it was over....

after last year's jaw-dropping cliffhanger in which Jmac was hurled off an exploding airplane, seemingly plummeting to his death with the strains of "I seeeee the light" playing softly in the background....



Stole the climax of this timeless classic you say? More like lovingly borrowed.

but NO....IT'S BACK!! A second season of The Cover Two podcasts!!! Enjoy my minions.

How about a little love...

For Athens' downtown scene? From what I hear the criteria for this prestigous award was somewhat lax (see: internet voting) but still - good for the Globe...now where did 11pm and later at the Broad Street Taco Stand rate on this list? Surely stately barkeep Chuck deserves some credit!?

Watch this...

Because it is funny...



And because I want to see if I have figured out how to post a video.

How about this logo....

for striking fear into the hearts of your opponents?



I DEMAND the O's go back to this logo which was used during the 60s.

This looks like the kind of mascot that will lay waste to opponents over nine innings and then, in the throws of a drug-induced bender, feast upon the flesh of the vanquished and then torch the stadium...only to wake up the next morning clueless as to what happened the night before and puzzled as to why he holds the severed head of Jason Varitek in his left hand.

Update...

David Ortiz's (is it "Ortiz'"? I have no idea. I hate ridiculous punctuation and grammar rules almost as much as the Red Sox) car goes unsold. I suppose the steroid swilling, non-fielding Ortiz will have to find some other way to finance his newest automobile purchase...may I suggest using some of your TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

Alright - that's all. I shan't speak of it again.

And I thought I knew humilation....

After almost a decade of sub .500 finishes...but the Orioles continue to come up with new ways to emasculate its fan base. A few of my favorite tidbits and quotes from the game I'm pretty sure...unfortunately....that no one will forget:


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• Ranger Marlon Byrd, who hit a grand slam in the victory, said afterward, "You start to feel bad for the guys on their team."


• Roch Kubatko from the Baltimore Sun - No matter how many times I write it or say it, the absurdity nearly overwhelms me. 30-3. Who knew Daniel Cabrera would end up being the most effective pitcher? And no, I don't believe the Rangers were piling on, though the on-side kick was a bit much
• The Rangers reliever got a save! A SAVE!!! Though I will say the bottom half of the eight was tense - the O's loaded the bases and they were THIS close to cutting the lead down to 23.

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It is down right sad when Marlon Byrd who couldn't even keep a job with the NATIONALS and is currently starting for the second worst team in the American League is SORRY for you. Oh lord.

What awful timing too - Trembley gets an extension after turning the club around this year - Bedard is positively lights out - the team is on the brink of making a run at +.500 and then...the a nuclear bomb in the form of guys named Vazquez, Saltala-whatever, Botts, Cruz and Murphy. Seriously - go look at the Rangers lineup from last night - I call bullsh*t if you knew anymore than 4, maybe 5 of their starters.

There are explanations I suppose for the meltdown - it was a doubleheader so Trembley didn't want to use too many relievers, plus the game was out of hand so we wasn't going to use his go-to guys...therefore, the sacrificial lambs came in - poor rehabilitated Paul Shuey and Rob Bell. They should get a purple heart from the organization for this.

Have I told you lately how much I hate....

THE RED SOX?! I hate them...and I know that is a strong word but I just can't find another term to encapsulate the venom that bubbles up into the back of my throat each time I see their fricking uniforms, stare slack-jawed at Manny Ramirez as he approaches the plate so unkepmt and covered in so much filth that he looks like he just emerged from an overturned port-o-let (Speaking of...can we all come to a consensus on what to call those things - is it port-o-let? Port-o-john? Port-o-potty?

This has plagued me my entire life - what if I'm in a "Port-o-let" crowd and call it a port-o-potty - all of a sudden I'm a teeny weeny little baby who needs to go "potty". And what if I'm in the port-o-let crowd and call it a port-o-john - all of a sudden I'm Al Bundy lookin' for the "john" and "sumptin' ta read" and all the port-o-letters cast disparaging looks down upon me shunning me to a life of shame. But what if I'm in the port-o-potty crowd and call it a "port-o-let" NOW I'm some stuffed-shirt perched in the Ivory Tower and most likely seconds away from a broken High Life bottle to the jugular...so please people - let's come to an agreement and solve this global crisis once and for all)...

WOW - I certainly got off track...anyway - like I was saying - I hate the Red Sox. And now this comes along - what a di*k that Papi. The guy is so strapped for cash that he is forced to play on people's emotions and devoted worship to sport and drive up the price of his crappy car SOOOOO...he can BUY ANOTHER, BETTER CAR! Not give the money to charity...no, no...that would be too decent for a Red Sock. He's bilking fans out of cash because he's tired of his old ride. What a dill weed.

And in other "Red Sox are pigs" news - Curt Schilling is desparately trying to whore himself out to whatever witless, cash and fan starved club will have after he becomes a free agent this year.

You know I would say that I wish the Red Sox would lose every game the rest of this year however I know that the Red Sox fans would just whine, bitch and moan so much about it, I would hate them even more...they'd lament "The Curse is back! Oh woe is us! We will only be the second best team in baseball every year with the second biggest payroll and in the playoffs each and every year but might not win the World Series every time we are in it!! Oh the horror!" Shut it Red Sox fans - try being an Oriole fan for a decade and you'll know what pain is.

Mark those calenders boys and girls...

Cause R.E.M.'s got new goodness for you to buy. And yes I already have most of these songs live in some form or another but you know what? Don't care. Slap R.E.M. on a book and I'll buy it. Call your new flavor of Gatorade "Electrolite" and throw a picture of Stipe, Mills and Buck on there and I'll buy a case. Call me a sucker. Call me a patsy. Just don't call me "Little Timmy" cause I hate that.